


White Magnolia

by brokenpromisesandhope



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Blow Jobs, Children, College, Crushes, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, F/M, Family Feels, Flirting, Fluff, Football, Future Fic, Heroes, Humor, Insecurity, Kid Fic, Lactation Kink, Lingerie, Love, Marriage, Oral Sex, Plot Twists, Pregnancy Kink, Song Lyrics, Swearing, Sweet, True Love, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Unhappy Ending, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 18:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17085821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenpromisesandhope/pseuds/brokenpromisesandhope
Summary: Based on Blue Tacoma by Russel Dickson





	White Magnolia

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for 10 YEARS. It's the longest thing I've ever written and genuinely beautiful. I purposefully didn't share warnings but heed two tags - death and unhappy ending!   
> ALSO if you don't wanna read porn with lactation kink, skip the section where they're counting down to sex. The granola bar scene is stolen from the amazing show This Is Us.   
> Thanks Jay Bay for all the help.   
> PLEASE COMMENT AND KUDOS PLEASE PLEASE   
> XX  
> T

It’s not like it was love at first sight, even though they’re high school sweethearts. He was the dumb football player, and she was the sweet, good girl, who against her better judgement, and the words of everyone else, started dating him. He gives her his varsity jacket and she helps him study for physics, so they can go to college together. Steve drives a beat up red pick up truck that Nancy always teases him for. 

It feels right, and she’s always heard talk about ‘the one’ but Steve is her one. He’s there when her brother gets a girlfriend and starts hating her. When he calls her a bitch for the first time. He’s there to hold her through ugly sobbing, snotty cries when she doesn’t get into Columbia, which is a shock to everyone. 

He attends her cousin’s wedding, and doesn’t make fun of her too poofy, pastel pink dress. He dances with her to ‘Wanted’ by Hunter Hayes, and lets her get drunk on cheap champagne. Her mom gets drunk on Long Islands because that’s the type of woman Karen is, and he makes no fuss as he drives them home and puts them both to bed. 

He places a glass of water and two Advil next to Mrs. Wheeler’s bed, because she doesn’t like him much for some reason, and places a blanket over her. He helps Nancy out of her dress and tucks her in, and sleeps on the couch, no matter how much Nancy tries to pull him into her bed. 

Mrs. Wheeler wakes up first and sees Steve asleep on the couch. She makes a pot of coffee and stands against the breakfast bar, waiting for him to get up. Eventually he does, looking like a tired dog, hair all over his head, dress shirt wrinkled. He jumps slightly when he sees her, and she takes a sip of coffee. 

He knows he’s seeing under the facade. Her hair is up in a banana clip, face bare of makeup, wearing a plush cotton robe. She’s even wearing slippers. 

“Can I have a cup?” He asks, not really knowing what to say. 

She fixes him a cup of coffee and he leans against the counter, 

“My husband doesn’t approve of you,” she says, eyes straight ahead. 

He swallows a gulp of coffee before responding, 

“Can I ask why?” 

“Nancy was a good girl before she met you. No sneaking out. No smoking or drinking. All A’s. A virgin. Went with us to church every Sunday. Now she’s always with you. There’s no reason she shouldn’t have gotten into Columbia.” 

Steve swallows hard, he didn’t know Nancy had changed so much, 

“She still has all A’s,” he says pitifully, “I don’t know why she didn’t get into Columbia either, she got a fuc- I mean flipping 32 on her ACT.” 

Karen nods, 

“I’m just telling you what my husband thinks.” 

Steve sneaks a glance at her, but she’s still staring straight ahead, 

“What do you think Mrs. Wheeler?” 

She sighs, 

“My husband and I, we have a complicated relationship. I knew a boy just like you. He, he set my heart on fire. I would have done anything for him. But my parents sent me away to boarding school, before anything ever happened, and when I got out he was gone. I married Ted because he was the safe choice. He had money, a steady job, everything. And I was going to be just like my mother. A housewife, with a perfect nuclear family, and a signature lipstick, and a signature perfume that tingles everyone’s nose almost too much,” she pauses to take a drink of her coffee.

“I have a bachelors in accounting,” she says quietly. 

Steve raises an eyebrow, but keeps his eyes trained ahead, 

“Really?” 

She nods, 

“I do all the money stuff for Ted’s business. Anyway. I’m getting sidetracked. I know that you don’t understand the way I love my daughter. I know she doesn’t either. I promised myself I would never treat her the way my mother treated me, but, I feel like I do it anyway,” she sighs, “I don’t, everything I love too much gets ripped away from me. It’s easier to push her away, then have her leave on her own.” 

It’s silent for a few moments, 

“You’re still her mother. She still loves you. And, it’s never too late to change.” 

She nods, 

“You’re right,” she clears her throat, “she is my blessing. But if you hurt her, I will make your life a living hell.” 

He turns to her then, 

“Ma’am, I intend to propose to your daughter at graduation.” 

She drops her coffee mug on the floor and Nancy chooses that moment to descend down the stairs, 

“Aw, babe you’re still here. Good morning Mom.” 

Steve heads to grab a towel to wipe up the mess and Karen lets out a strangled, 

“Good morning honey.” 

 

Graduation is two weeks away. Nancy is going to the University of Indiana because she got early acceptance to the nursing program and Steve is going to the community college five miles away from her. They are going to live in a tiny apartment above a locally owned Chinese restaurant and the only furniture they have is a bed, their dressers and a TV. They both have their own cars, and apparently Karen had given Nancy a check, and she wouldn’t disclose the amount. Which means it’s a lot. 

They’re down by the river, laying on a blanket in the bed of his truck, the radio playing softly, Nancy’s head on his chest, smoking a cigarette. 

“It’s weird you know, like something in her just changed. And she told me she was proud of me, and I’d make a great nurse, and, it was interesting.” 

“Maybe she’s trying since you’re leaving,” Steve says. 

Nancy rolls her eyes, 

“I’m going two hours away.” 

“Still, you know, you’re kind of a buffer between her and your dad. I mean, you’ve said.” 

“That’s true. Still, she bought me some new clothes and we went out to dinner.” 

“You think you’re gonna call her more now that you’re leaving?” 

She shrugs, 

“It’s not like one dinner's gonna change our entire relationship Steve,” 

He takes a long inhale and blows the smoke out slowly, 

“You’re right, sorry.” 

She rubs her hand over his stomach and he kisses her forehead and they sit in comfortable silence until a new song starts playing and Nancy jumps up, 

“Oh my god, this is my favorite song,” 

They’re listening to a country station so he makes a gagging sound as she leans in to turn it up, 

“Really?” 

She shoves him lightly, 

“Yes, now shut up and listen.” 

Blue Tacoma, California  
Rays of gold are shining on ya

Wheels rolling on an old Toyota  
Twist top on a Sunkist soda  
Your brown hair in the west coast wind  
If heaven is anywhere  
The night is here it's at the top of our lungs  
Shuffling in and gonna steal the one  
Missing turns cause that's our song  
If heaven is anywhere

The song is catchy, he has to admit, but his favorite part is her singing. She’s so beautiful. Her hair pulled back from her face in her perfect little twists, freckles and smudged lipstick from when they were kissing earlier. She’s wearing a plain v-neck t-shirt, showing off her ballet slipper necklace and he loves her so much it hurts to breathe sometimes. 

“Tell me it was catchy,” she says, climbing into his lap. 

“I love you,” he says instead. 

She smiles so bright and her eyes crinkle, and she wraps her hands around his neck and leans down to kiss him softly, 

“I love you more.” 

 

Graduation is hectic. It is. Steve wants to drive Nancy, but then Mike throws a fit he wants to be with his sister, and he ends up sitting in the armchair, Mr. Wheeler staring him down while Karen finishes curling Nancy’s hair. She comes down the stairs, hair perfectly curled, wearing red lipstick to match her gown, and a white, strapless, lace dress and nude pumps. She looks beautiful. 

Steve stands up, 

“You look amazing,” he says smiling. 

Nancy blushes, and then he takes in Karen who’s clearly dressed up for the occasion, unlike Mr. Wheeler. She’s wearing a plum dress and black pumps, and Holly’s wearing a dress too. Mike is wearing a suit, sans coat, 

“Mrs. Wheeler, you look beautiful as well. You too Holly,” he bops her nose, “Mike my man, you look very sharp.” 

He beams at him, and Holly makes grabby hands at him, and Steve grabs her, while everyone gets their stuff together. Holly loves him. Steve’s never had younger siblings, or been around kids that much, but Nancy watched her siblings a lot, and it was fun to watch Holly toddle around and speak. She loved playing with Steve’s hair and thought he had the best ticking hands. He’s twirling her around, tickling her stomach, when Mrs. Wheeler touches his shoulder, 

“You’re gonna be a good daddy someday,” she says softly. 

He looks at her and smiles, 

“I’m still gonna do it today, is that okay?” he asks quietly. 

“I’ll have my camera ready,” she kisses his forehead, “Hey Steven, I’m proud of you for graduating.” 

He forces a smile, because this is as good as it’s gonna get, his parents aren’t coming. No one’s coming for him, 

“Thank you Mrs. Wheeler.” 

“I think it’s about time you start calling me Karen.” 

It's in a blue Tacoma, California  
White magnolia in your hair  
Rays of gold are shining on ya  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
It's never running out of golden road  
Always having your hand to hold  
It's in a blue Tacoma, California  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
It's right here  
Blue tacoma California  
Rays of gold are shining on ya

The ceremony is long, and surprisingly Steve hears cheering when his name is called. Which is the main reason he doesn’t flip off his principal who never missed an opportunity to tell him that he’d never graduate. He stands up and shouts “That’s my girl!” When Nancy’s name is called and he all but whips his cap at the ceiling of the gym. 

Nancy finds him and they shuffle out of the gym to take pictures. The Wheelers are waiting for them, Mrs. Wheeler gives them both a big hug, and Mike throws his arms around his sister and then Steve too. They all line up for pictures, and Mr. Wheeler actually smiles in the large family photo. They’d had to return their gowns, so they’re all in their regular clothes, and sweating a bit, and Holly’s getting fussy by the time it’s time for Steve and Nancy’s picture together. 

Mrs. Wheeler walks up and exclaims, 

“Nancy let me fix your hair quickly,” and turns her to the side so Steve can kneel down in the grass. 

By the time she’s turning back around, Mrs. Wheeler has her phone out to record and Nancy turns around in confusion, before looking down, seeing Steve holding a little black box open. 

“Nancy Loretta Wheeler, I love you so much, I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?” 

Nancy’s crying, because it’s Nancy, and she just nods in shock. Steve stands up and places the ring on her finger. It’s a small teardrop ring, with a thin silver band, and he hopes to replace it with a bigger one, someday. He grins at her and she laughs through the tears and she kisses him softly, 

“I love you more.” 

Karen’s all over her, demanding to see the ring, tears in her eyes as she hugs Nancy and Steve. Mike is shouting, and nearly knocks Nancy over hugging her. Then he’s climbing on Steve’s back yelling about having a brother, and Holly is on Nancy’s hip looking at her sparkly ring. When she looks around, her dad is nowhere to be found. 

Steve’s parents are out of town, so after they get to the Wheeler’s Steve drives them to his place and they eat greasy pizza, and drink beer, and Nancy flashes her ring at him every five seconds, and they make love in front of the fireplace on the carpet, with The Office on in the background, and then on the couch, and then in the shower, and finally in Steve’s bed, Nancy on top, her hands braced on his chest, and he teases her, 

“Am I getting you off, or the ring?” 

She laughs obnoxiously, snorts at the end like she does sometimes and pinches his nipple, 

“Would you be mad if I said both?” 

He laughs, squeezing her ass, 

“Well damn, if I knew diamonds turned you on like this, I would have got you one long ago.” 

She bites her lip, 

“You love me?” 

“More than anyone else in this world.” 

It’s quiet for a few moments, and he’s about to break the silence when she exhales softly, 

“You mean that.” 

It’s a statement, not a question. 

“I mean everything I ever say to you.” 

It's in a blue Tacoma, California  
White magnolia in your hair  
Rays of gold are shining on ya  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
It's never running out of golden road  
Always having your hand to hold  
It's in a blue Tacoma, California  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
It's right through the door, California  
Rays of gold are shining on ya

To Steve’s surprise, Nancy doesn’t want a big wedding. It’s been four years of college, they’d even both graduated, Nancy with her Bachelors in Nursing, Steve in Business Management. However, just because it was small, doesn’t mean it would be as simple as he’d hoped. As both Nancy and Mrs.Wheeler had explained, all Steve had to do was show up. So he leaves it alone. 

Nancy had never thought her mother would be involved in her wedding. She loved her mother yes, but they weren’t close. Not nearly as close as Nancy wanted them to be, and around sixteen, she’d stopped trying. So she’s a bit shocked when her mom comes into her room early one Saturday morning and announces they’re going dress shopping. The dress shop in town is expensive and nice, and they hand them flutes of champagne and a plate of macaroons, and begin showing dresses. 

Her mom has lots of ideas about what will look good on Nancy’s body, and knows she wants something a touch more simple, especially because they’re getting married at the courthouse. Nancy could tell her mom disapproved, but Steve wasn’t religious. Then she’d insisted they could rent out nearly anywhere else, but Nancy refused. The courthouse did have a nice little room they’d reserved, and Nancy had told her mom she could host a reception which made her feel a little bit better. 

Then Nancy starts trying on dresses. She purposefully does not look at the price tags, and her mom finds something wrong with every one. Nancy has to agree with her. Nothing feels right. Like she’s getting married. They all feel like she’s playing dress up. She’s about ready to give up, the champagne going to her head, bloated from eating too many macaroons, when she slides on a dress. It’s perfect. 

It’s more ivory than white, strapless, with a slightly heart shaped neckline, a beaded bodice, that flares out at her waist into fluffy, tulle waves, with white ribbon at the seams. She opens the door from the dressing room, and her mother’s mouth drops. She stands up, 

“Nancy, you look,” she swallows hard, “you are beautiful.” 

Nancy smiles and does a little twirl and her mother laughs, the dress coordinator Brooke, smiling and clapping her hands. Nancy’s staring at herself in the threeway mirror when she laughs, 

“What?” her mom asks. 

Nancy points up to the speaker, 

“This is my favorite song. It’s fate.” 

Karen tilts her head closer to listen and laughs, 

“Is this why you love that stupid old truck of his?” 

Nancy laughs, 

“Maybe.” 

The wedding comes sooner than anyone had imagined. Her mother wouldn’t let her in on any of the details of the reception, and they got ready at the house. Her father was refusing to attend, for many reasons, but her mom didn’t let that upset her at all. She was even better. She did Nancy’s hair, asking if Nancy would be okay wearing the tiara her mother had worn at her wedding. Nancy’d cried of course and said yes, as her mom placed the tiara on her head, and styles her curled hair into an elegant twist. 

She does Nancy’s makeup, silver shadow with a light purple crease and thin black liner, complete with false eyelashes and pale pink lipstick. She wears dangly earrings, and a simple necklace. She’d forced her mom to buy a dress, she was the mother of the bride after all, and she looks beautiful and a light pink, strapless, flowy dress. Holly’s wearing a pale pink dress herself, and it’s time to help Nancy into her dress. 

She wear sparkly silver heels and has a bouquet of magnolias, and Mike is standing by the court appointed minister, next to Steve, whose sweating nervously, and Holly teeters down to Steve, holding her own tiny bouquet of flowers, and runs right to Steve. He picks her up and props her on his hip, and turns to watch Nancy walk down the aisle. 

Karen has her arm linked with hers and is crying silently, and Nancy’s smiling at him like he’s her entire world, and he looks up and says a silent thank you to whatever deity there is, that he got so lucky, to have this amazing woman be in love with him. 

Karen pauses at the altar with Nancy and grabs both of her hands in hers, 

“Nancy, you are the best thing I’ve done in my entire life. You are amazing. Do not ever let anyone tell you that you are not. That man loves you more than himself, and I can tell. I love you,” she says softly. 

Nancy sniffles and nods, and throws her arms around her mom, 

“I love you too Mom.” 

Her mom lets go, and stands to the side and finally Nancy stands in front of Steve, 

“You look breathtaking.” 

She smiles, 

“You look pretty good yourself there, Harrington.” 

“Always so good with the compliments, Wheeler,” he teases. 

“Not for long,” she says smiling. 

The ceremony isn’t long, and Steve dips her down to kiss her, and she has a diamond band to go under her engagement ring and she is now Nancy Harrington. Karen leaves pretty immediately with the kids to go finish setting up for the reception, and Steve and Nancy head out to his truck. 

“So that was fun,” Nancy says. 

“Fun?! Is that how you’re going to describe our wedding to our kids?” 

She laughs, 

“Abso- fucking-lutely.” 

He laughs, and ducks over to kiss her shoulder, 

“I can’t believe you’re my wife.” 

“I can’t believe you’re my husband.” 

He shakes his head, 

“This is pretty wild.” 

“So wild. Hey, take the long way home? I just wanna sit with you for awhile.” 

Steve leans in to kiss her nose, 

“Of course baby. I love you.” 

Nancy grins at him, eyes so blue, 

“I love you more.” 

They roll the windows down and drive around town, down by the river and around town square. Eventually Nancy starts pulling all the pins in her hair down, claiming they’re stabbing her and lets her loose curls fall around her shoulders. She sets the tiara in the backseat, along with her heels, putting on some flip flops that she’s pretty sure were from Target, because that’s how she rolls. She tucks a magnolia in her hair, and Steve knows what she’s doing as soon as she connects his phone to the aux cord. 

She turns up the song loudly, and he laughs, shouting over the music, 

“Is this going to be our song?” 

“Forever and ever, until we’re old and gray,” she shouts, “sing it with me,” she begs, tugging on his arm. 

He turns the radio up as high as it can go and throws his head back, scream-singing along with her, 

Red sun melting to the black top  
Dollar shades from a nowhere truck stop  
Your kiss and that coastline  
If heaven is anywhere  
Pull it over to the shoulder  
To take it in  
Mmmh and pull you closer  
Loving you longer than I ever did  
Going places we never been  
Cause heaven's in

 

Karen really outdid herself. The entire backyard is covered in fairy lights, there’s circular tables covered with tablecloths and centerpieces. There’s a DJ, and a bar, and food, and like seventy people who all want to congratulate her. There’s people from school, her cousins, her family members, Joyce Byers, Jonathan and Will. Will hands her a homemade card and Nancy kisses his forehead because she feels like an adult now and that’s what adults do. Hopper is there, clapping Steve on the shoulder. Lucas Sinclair gives her the tightest hug in the world and Erica touches the frills of her dress. Dustin Henderson presents her with a coupon for a free drawing, and Steve one for a free car wash. El gives her a friendship bracelet. Max Mayfield tells her that she’ll teach her kids how to skateboard. 

Mike is telling everyone all the details of the wedding, a bit sugar high on kiddie cocktails. Steve and Nancy sip champagne and talk to assorted members of Nancy’s family, or classmates from school. Karen is beaming in a corner, talking to her sisters. Steve’s just gone to get them another drink, maybe sneak them a piece of cake, when her dad comes up to her. He’s just in regular clothes, like he wasn’t even going to attend the reception, it just happened to be in his backyard. 

He looks her up and down, and she knows it’s dumb, but she hopes for something. The same thing she’s been hoping for eighteen years. For him to love her. 

“This is never going to work out,” he says firmly, “but for you, I hope it does.” 

And he walks away. Nancy will not cry at her wedding reception, he is not that powerful, and Steve comes back with two whiskies, 

“I figured we could go for something a bit stronger.” 

She nods, kissing him, 

“You know me too well.” 

His arm winds around her waist, 

“I would hope so wifey.” 

They dance for a bit, their first dance to ‘I Prayed For You’ by Matt Steel, and of course, ‘Blue Tacoma’. However they head out after Uptown Funk, but before the Cha Cha Slide, only saying goodbye to Karen,

“Alright kids, here’s your hotel room key, and I have food for you in the fridge. You better take it, I can’t promise the cake will be there tomorrow.” 

Nancy hugs her, 

“Thanks for everything Mom.” 

“Thanks for everything Mrs.Wheeler,” Steve says, wrapping his arms around her. 

“Call me Karen,” she insists. 

“Okay, Karen.” 

They sneak into the house and Steve grabs the food Karen had set aside for them, as well as two bottles of spare champagne that’s on the counter. Steve drives them to the one swanky hotel that’s in town, and they check in, to find that Karen had gotten them the Honeymoon Suite. 

It’s gorgeous, there’s rose petals leading to the bed, and on the bed, and a bucket of champagne already in ice. Steve helps Nancy out of her dress, and she hangs it up and he strips down to his underwear and they sit in their undergarments and eat too much cake and pigs in a blanket and drink champagne from the bottle and watch Friends. 

Nancy gets up to pee eventually, and in the bathroom she finds a white lingerie set hanging up. She laughs and sheds her undergarments, sliding on the silk and lace white teddy and struggles with the garter belt. She opens the door to the bathroom and leans seductively against the door frame and clears her throat, Steve looks over at her and his jaw drops. 

“Hi hubby,” she says tossing her hair over her shoulder. 

“How did I get so lucky?” he asks as she sauntered over to him and climbs into his lap. 

“Hell if I know,” she teases. 

It’s a short six weeks later, , when she’s sitting on her toilet taking test number three. She’s never drank so much water in her life. She doesn’t even know why she’s taking a physical test because Krista can test her blood tomorrow, but it’s mostly for the experience. Because Steve had a dramatic graduation proposal and she needs to get the upper hand on this, she decides to wait two weeks until his birthday. They already had reservations at his favorite Italian restaurant so Nancy just has to make a couple calls. 

Dinner is amazing. Everything with Steve is amazing. He has this way of making everything feel like it’s the very last time. He’s handsome in his button down blue shirt that brings out his eyes, and they hold hands across the table, and he steals some of her spaghetti even though he insisted he wanted lasagna. The music is quiet, and the lights are dim, and his eyes are sparkling, and his lips are a bit dry, and she leans over to kiss him, 

“Are you ready for dessert?” she asks eventually. 

“Oh hell yes!” 

She gestures for their waiter, 

“Can we get dessert? He’s gonna have the chocolate raspberry cheesecake and I’ll just have, well actually I’ll have the same.” 

Steve smiles at her, 

“You know if you don’t eat yours fast enough I’m going to have to help you right?” 

She rolls her eyes, 

“Oh I have no doubt, Steven.” 

It’s only a few moments later when they bring the cheesecakes out. Steve’s plate says, ‘Happy Birthday Daddy!’ 

Steves brows furrow, sure she’s called him that in the bedroom quite a few times but she’s usually not so open about their sex life.

“Does this mean we get to have kinky sex when we get home?” he asks, taking a bite of his cheesecake. 

Nancy pushes a small wrapped box towards him, 

“Happy birthday Daddy,” she grins. 

He laughs, 

“What’s gotten into you Mrs. Harrington, this is very inappropriate,” he says, unwrapping the box. 

He’s going so slowly Nancy wants to yell at him to hurry up, but she just holds her breath, as he slides the lid off the box. His eyes widen. 

“Is this what I think it is?” 

“You’re gonna be a Daddy,” she says softly. 

He jumps up, 

“Really?!” 

She nods and laughs, 

“Holy shit! Holy shit! I’m gonna be a dad!” he shouts. 

She stands up to hug him and he grabs her and lifts her up and twirls her around laughing, 

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant! Wait, shit!” he sets her down, and reaches to touch her still flat stomach, “Are you okay bug?” he asks. 

She laughs, 

“You’re not calling our baby, bug.” 

He shrugs, 

“Too late. It’s already happened. Holy shit we’re having a baby.” 

She nods, 

“We’re having a baby.”

“Oh my god, I love you. Holy shit we’re having a baby!” 

She laughs, eyes full of tears, 

“I love you more. We’re having a baby!” She says excitedly, squeezing his hand. 

“Who else can we tell?!” he asks excitedly. 

“You can tell my mom if you want,” she says softly. 

A blue Tacoma, California  
White magnolia in your hair  
Rays of gold are shining on ya  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
It's never running out of golden road  
Always having your hand to hold  
In a blue Tacoma, California  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
It's right here

They’ve been doing great lately. They meet her mom and siblings for dinner once a week, and her and Steve have gotten a lot closer. She calls her mom nearly every day and, things are good. She was still trying to insist they go on a honeymoon, but other than that, it was good. 

Steve didn’t have any family, and besides, Nancy could tell Mike. Or her Grandma, or Aunt. She wanted Steve to have this, 

“Really babe?” 

She nods, 

“Really.” 

So Steve whips out his cell phone and puts it on speaker, 

“Hey Karen,” he says. 

“Steve honey, how are you? You’re supposed to be at dinner.” 

“We are, but I wanted to tell you something.” 

“Okay,” she says apprehensively. 

“No, it’s good. I’m gonna be a dad!” he shouts. 

“What?!” 

“Nancy’s having a baby!” 

“Oh my god really?! That’s amazing! Aww baby, my baby’s having a baby! Oh my god,” 

“Mom are you crying?!” Nancy chimes in. 

“Shut up! Of course I’m crying! This is wonderful! When can I see you?!” 

“I’m not even showing yet!” 

“I don’t care, I wanna see you!” 

“We can come over tomorrow Mom,” says Steve easily. It just slips out. He’s about to apologize when Nancy shakes her head. 

Karen’s voice is thick with tears, 

“I’ll see you then.” 

Everything spirals from there. Nancy has never been pampered so much in her life. Mike is excited, and constantly touching her stomach, even though she doesn’t start showing til around month three. They move back to Hawkins. Karen of course doesn’t have a job, so she also can help with the baby. They move into a tiny three bedroom house, that is only two hundred dollars more than their tiny apartment in Indianapolis and Karen promises to redo the nursery as soon as they find out what their having. 

Nancy’s pretty sure Steve wants her to put on weight because by month five she’s put on nearly twenty pounds and he helps her out of the car because she’d been so small, and the new weight is a lot for her. She cries when they find out she’s having a girl, and Steve kisses her stomach repeatedly, getting ultrasound gel all over his shirt. 

The first place they go is the cake shop, and get a cupcake made, with pink frosting on the inside, white on the outside. They head over to the Wheelers, disappointed to find Mike and Karen at the grocery store, only Ted and Holly there. They set the cupcake on the counter, before sitting down to watch Dr. Phil with Ted, both anxious. Steve’s taken to having Nancy sit in his lap, arms wrapped around her stomach, holding their baby. 

“You’re going to spoil the shit out of her, aren’t you?” Nancy asks. 

Steve laughs, kissing her shoulder, 

“You already know it.” 

Finally, Mike and Karen walk in and Nancy gets up as fast as she can, and her and Steve head into the kitchen. 

“Oh my god, Holly!” Nancy shouts. 

Holly had eaten the cupcake and there’s currently pink frosting all over her face and hands. Steve laughs loudly, and buries his face in Nancy’s shoulder. 

“Hi kids, um what’s going on?” Karen asks, setting a bag of groceries on the counter. 

“Well, we had a gender reveal cupcake planned for you, but it seems my devious little sister got into it,” says Nancy, ruffling Holly’s hair. 

Karen looks at Holly, 

“Oh my god, you’re having a girl?!” 

“I’m having a girl!” Says Nancy excitedly. 

And then Karen’s crying, and Mike’s cheering, and Ted wanders into the kitchen, 

“What’s going on?” he asks. 

“Nancy’s having a girl,” Karen says, pulling away from Steve’s hug. 

Ted’s lips curl into a half smile, 

“Congrats,” he says, before walking out of the kitchen. 

Karen lets out another yell, 

“Okay, so now we can get started on the nursery!” 

The nursery is truly amazing, but also too much. However Steve and Karen just amp each other up into doing more and more ridiculous shit. But Steve does love to watch Nancy wander around the room, singing softly, hand cradling her belly. 

The nursery is pink, with butterflies, and they had a big beautiful white crib. There’s a matching dresser and a rocking chair. A closet full of clothes, shelves full of stuffed animals, and a bookshelf full of books. The house was baby-proofed, she had a carseat, and a state of the art stroller. A pack and play, a jumper, a high chair, toys, a crib, highchair and stroller for the Wheeler's house. She had a baby bath, and a whole drawer of baby headbands and bows. They both read all the books, and prepare as much as they can. 

It’s after her seven month check up, and she’s a bit crabby. She hasn’t been sleeping, none of her shoes fit, and she’s tired. She can’t cuddle in Steve’s sweatshirts anymore, and it’s cold as hell out. Her entire wardrobe is cami tank tops that hug her stomach, maternity leggings and oversized cardigans, wool socks and slip on Ugg shoes, the only shoes that fit. Steve had promised they could get Taco Bell which had excited her for a moment, and of course she was happy to know the baby was fine, but her hands were getting swollen, and soon she wouldn’t be able to wear her wedding ring and that stressed her out, even though Steve said he could put it on a chain for her. He didn’t bring it up cause it made her near hysterical, like she was right now, as he helped her in the car. 

She’s tired and swollen and Steve doesn’t say anything when they get in the car. He doesn’t really want to get snapped at, he just wants to ply her full of cinnabon bites and tacos, and then give her a foot rub and take a fucking nap. He turns on the radio and Nancy leans her head against the window, and all of a sudden Steve hears the familiar start of a song, and turns the radio up more. 

Blue Tacoma, California  
Rays of gold are shining on ya  
If heaven is anywhere

Steve reaches over to grab Nancy’s hand and runs his thumb along her protruding veins, 

“I think we should name the baby Magnolia.”

She laughs loudly, but he’s quiet, and she looks over at him. He’s smiling that wide toothy smile, that reminds her of a kid who’s begging has just gotten him exactly what he wanted,

“Wait, you’re serious?” 

He looks offended she would even suggest he was kidding, 

“Of course I’m serious!” 

She laughs again, 

“Oh my god, you’d do that for me?” 

“I’d do anything for you,” says Steve, seriously. 

***  
***  
He can feel Nancy’s eyes on him and he blushes. Nancy is his whole world. His parents… his parents didn’t want kids. He felt like it was a very similar situation to the Wheeler’s marriage, except it was straight up arranged. His grandparents were Polish, raised by first generation Polish parents. They had kept most of their traditional customs, and arranged for his mother, Renata to marry his father, Abram. 

The thing was his father was a raging drunk. He didn’t hit until Steve was a bit older, perhaps around ten, but he just yelled. In Polish, English, anything. Steve would hide in the closet, until his mother came to get him, comforting him. That stopped too. She drank too. Suddenly her purple eyeshadow and dark lipstick became frightening, and she hugged him too tight and shook him too hard when he got bad grades. 

His dad would beat him with a belt and make him count the lashes, and somehow his mom was never anywhere to be found. From a young age he learned to cheer for himself. His grandma Elenora died when he was seven, probably around the time everything started really going to shit. So he threw himself into school. He wasn’t smart, he just wasn't it. But he joined track, and in high school it turned into football. 

He was on the varsity team his freshman year because he was giant. He was popular. He drank, and smoke and lost his virginity at fucking fourteen, and he could usually find someone to bunk with. 

He first saw Nancy Wheeler his junior year, the first day of school. She was in his physics class, and when she walked in, the world stopped. Her long brown hair was in curls, held back by pins in elegant yet messy pins, her eyes are bluer than the deepest ocean, and she’s wearing a hint of makeup. She’s short and thin, with a french manicure, a golden necklace sitting in the crest of her cleavage and she’s wearing a blue floral print dress and sparkly, strappy sandals. Her pink lipstick covered lips curl into a smile as she spots her friend, a red- haired girl in the third row, one seat up and four over from Steve. 

She sits next to her, setting her backpack on the ground and Steve moves seats immediately, sitting behind her. She smells like cinnamon and vanilla and Steve is so gone. She’s talking animatedly to the girl next to her and he’s just staring. The friend glances at him questioningly, and finally, he taps her shoulder. She looks over at him and holy shit, she’s even prettier up close. 

Her eyes are bright blue and her lashes are long and black, and she’s got a splattering of freckles and a button nose, 

“Yes?” 

He slides a hand through his hair, 

“Um, do you have a pencil?” he asks dumbly. 

She looks over at her friend, and then nods, 

“Um, yeah,” she reaches into her backpack. She has delicate wrists and thin fingers, “Here you go.” 

He purposefully brushes his fingers against hers as he grabs it and she turns away, back to her conversation he presumes, 

“I’m Steve Harrington,” he says. 

Not even to be like, I’m the quarterback of the team, but just to introduce himself. Because he doesn’t know who she is. She laughs and so does the friend, and he feels his cheeks heat up. He’s never been, disregarded like this. Ever. And he wants to talk to her. More than anything. But she’s clearly very cool, and smart, and he’s a dumb jock, so he just looks down at his desk, probably looking like a kicked puppy, his mother did always say he wore his emotions on his sleeve, and he can practically hear the silent conversation between the two of them, before her french manicured nails tap on his desk. 

He looks up, 

“I’m Nancy Wheeler,” she says, “And this is Barb Holland.” 

Steve grins, 

“Nice to meet you.” 

Steve doesn’t sleep much. He runs on energy drinks and cigarettes. He has early morning practice, homework, school, evening practice, homework, then he works the third shift at the Pharmacy down on Main Street. He gets 2-3 hours of sleep a night. Saves all his money. So he can make it. 

Mrs. Hunter passes back their most recent test and Steve groans. Another C. He just needs to pass. And he’s barely maintaining a C-. He huffs and pushes his hair out of his eyes, leans over Nancy’s shoulder to see her 98%. If she was anyone else, he’d be pissed. She’d barely studied, seeing as she’d had ballet practice all week. He groans again, and Nancy turns around. 

She’s wearing a light purple eyeshadow today, and her hair is in a high ponytail, with a matching lavender scrunchie, 

“You okay there?” 

He’d be embarrassed, but he knows her and Barb probably think he’s a dumb jock anyway, so he hands her his test. She hums and flips through it, 

“You know on some of this, you’re not that far off. On other parts,” she trails off. 

He groans again, 

“This is such bullshit anyway.” 

“You wouldn’t say that if you were good at it,” chimes in Barb. 

“Bite me Holland,” he says. 

She laughs, 

“Come on. Nancy can tutor you. You’ll get it in no time.” 

He looks at Nancy, 

“Really?” 

She looks like she wants to kill Barb, 

“Um, well I can check my schedule, I mean I’m pretty busy,” she says, looking at her nails. 

Steve doesn’t think she means to be rude, he doesn’t. But if she does, she’s good at framing it as genuinely kind, with her sweet voice and promising eyes. But either way it is hurtful. Of course he likes her, his crush grows every day it feels like, but he just wants to be her friend, talk to her. And every time he tries, she shuts him down. No matter what the conversation is. He especially didn’t think something as simple as tutoring would tug at his gut, so he just takes his test back and sinks back in his seat, grabbing his headphones out of his backpack for work time, 

“Don’t worry about it,” he mumbles. 

Nancy stares at him, but he’s already blasting Eminem like every white boy stereotype and he decides he’s going to forget about Nancy Wheeler. 

He’s in a funk the rest of the day of course, and he doesn’t have football practice, but that just means that he’s taking a longer shift at the pharmacy, which is annoying him more than it should. He’s grabbing his backpack out of his locker at the end of the day, twirling his keys, earbuds still stuck in his ears when someone taps him. He turns around, shocked to see Nancy. Her cheeks are a bit flushed, 

“Hey.” 

He pulls out a headphone, 

“Hey.” 

She shifts her weight and he sees Barb across the hallway, leaning against her locker, 

“Look, I gotta go to work, did you need something?” he asks. He can’t bring himself to ask rudely, but he’s short. Shorter than normal.

She takes a deep breath, 

“Give me your phone.” 

He stares, and she bites her lip, 

“Listen, I was being rude earlier. Give me your phone, and we can set something up. For tutoring.” 

Steve hands her his phone, 

“If you’re too busy, that’s fine,” he mumbles. 

Nancy shakes her head, 

“I was being dramatic. I can do Saturday at eight in the morning?” She offers. 

Steve wrinkles his nose, 

“I know, but this week is jam-packed.” 

“I’ll be there then.” 

She nods, handing him back his phone, 

“Have a good night Steve.” 

“You too. Tell Holland she can stop watching us now, and that I said the same to her.” 

Nancy blushes, and he shuts his locker, heading out to his car. 

 

Steve is walking death. He’d worked from 12-6, and didn’t see the point in trying to get any sleep when he had to meet Nancy at the library at eight. So he’s drank a RedBull and buys two gas station coffees, before heading to the library. Nancy’s already there, even though he’s five minutes early. 

She looks too put together for it to be this early, hair perfectly curled and pinned back, wearing a pink tunic, scarf, leggings and knee high boots. She’s even wearing dangly earrings and lipstick. He’s wearing a pair of jeans he hopes are clean and a Hawkins High crewneck. 

“Morning. Ooh, is this for me?” she asks, eyeing the coffee. 

“Yeah, here you go,” he says, holding the cup out as they head to find a table. 

“Thank you so much,” she says, sitting down, and setting her bag down. 

He watches as she takes a sip of her coffee, 

“You look nice.” 

She nods, 

“Thank you. I’ve gotta go to my sister’s dance recital after this, and then lunch with my Grandma.” 

“Busy day.” 

“I told you.” 

He pauses, 

“Look. I promise this isn’t some Cady Heron and Aaron Sanders joke. Yes I like you, and I think I’ve made that perfectly clear, just like you’ve made it perfectly clear you’re not interested. I just need help in physics. I’m not-” he sighs, “I get that you’re not interested. And if you’re really too busy, I can just, I dunno, find someone else.” 

When he looks up from where he’d been previously picking at his fingernails, and she stares at him, blue eyes wide, before speaking, 

“You’ve seen Mean Girls?” 

His mouth drops, 

“I, are you-” he looks around before tossing a scrap of paper at her, “That’s what you got out of all that?” 

She grins, 

“Pretty much. Okay, so like, who was your favorite plastic?” 

He rolls his eyes, and leans to grab a pencil out of his backpack, 

“We are not discussing this.” 

Nancy laughs, 

“Hey Steve?” 

“Yeah?” he asks digging for a pencil. 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested.” 

He definitely stabs himself with the pencil. 

 

Nancy’s given him a new outlook on life though. A new goal. She doesn’t talk to him much, and Barb is always there, but she’ll wave at him in the hallway when he waves at her, and he’s seen her at a football game. He’s pretty sure her brother is a freshman waterboy, but that’s not the point. The point is that she’s in the stands, hair in a high ponytail complete with a maroon scrunchie, wearing a Hawkins High t-shirt and jeans that have no right to make her look so good, cheering them on. He wants her in his varsity jacket. 

It’s a boring Wednesday night, well early morning at the pharmacy and he’s behind the counter drinking a Redbull and playing on his phone when the door dings. He looks up and to his surprise he sees Nancy. She’s wearing old sweats, hair pulled up in a messy bun, looking rather pale, bluish bruises under her eyes. 

“Shit,” he hears her mutter the second she sees him. 

“Nancy, hey, are you okay?” He asks, halfway from behind the counter. 

She nods and smiles, 

“Yeah Steve, I’m fine.” 

“You sure?” he asks, hands fluttering uselessly. 

She nods, 

“Yeah,” she says sharper. 

He nods and backs off a bit, as she grabs a basket and walks around. She wanders seemingly aimlessly, and he listens to her throw things in the bin. She seems to be stalling, but he doesn’t know for what and then she brings a basket full of shit up to the counter. Way too much shit for a trip at one am to the overpriced pharmacy, 

“I didn’t know you worked here,” she says as he starts scanning stuff. 

“Unfortunately,” he says, spotting exactly what she’d wanted to hide. 

He stops scanning when he reaches the fourth can of soup. Looks up at her. Her cheeks are red and her eyes look watery like she’s about to burst into tears from sheer embarrassment, 

“Do you really want all this stuff?” he asks softly as not to scare her. 

“No,” she mumbles, looking down. 

“What do you want?” he asks, quickly cancelling the transaction and starting a new one, ringing up the pink box of tampons and quickly shoving them in a plastic bag. 

“Well, um, the ice cream. And the candy bars. And the Doritos too!” she says quickly. 

“The Diet Coke?” 

She nods and Steve hides a smile, 

“The cookies?” 

Nancy laughs like she can’t help it, 

“You know what, just assume I want all the junk food, and none of the miscellaneous shit.” 

He laughs and rings it all up. Gives her the associate discount so she does not spend over $20 on snacks. 

She watches the total go down, 

“What’s that for?” 

He smiles, 

“Prettiest girl in Hawkins discount,” he says seriously. 

She stares at him curiously. Licks her dried lips, 

“I can never tell if you’re serious when you say things like that.” 

“I’m always serious.” 

She stares at him, then grabs her plastic bag from the counter, 

“Um, have a good night Steve.” 

“You too Nancy.” 

The next morning Steve’s got a bag of fun size kit kats for Nancy. He didn’t think one would be enough. He rolls into first hour to see her and Barb talking and a travel mug of coffee on his desk. 

“What’s this?” He asks. 

Nancy looks up, she’s more out together, had tried to cover up the dark circles under her eyes but she still looks tired despite her eyeliner and perfect French braid.

“I figured you’d be tired,” she says, biting her lip. 

He sets his backpack down and pulls out a can of Mountain Dew,

“Naw. I got my reinforcement.”

Nancy wrinkles her nose, 

“Ew. Do not drink that shit.” 

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? It’s got like tons of chemicals and shit! It’s super unhealthy for you.” 

He laughs, 

“Like coffee is so much better.” 

“Better than that rat poison!” She thrusts the cup at him, and he concedes, but not before grabbing the bag of candy out of his backpack and handing it to her. 

She blushes immediately and he can hear Barb laughing, and then Nancy looks up at him and smiles softly, 

“Um, thank you.” 

He smiles and nods and then Mrs.Hunter calls for class to start, and Nancy keeps sneaking looks back at him. And she rips open a Kit Kat, and smacks Barb for laughing at her. 

The Fall Formal is coming up soon, and he wants to ask her, but he doesn’t think they’re going anywhere. When he asks her to tutor him, Barb’s there. Barb is cool of course, but, he wants to talk to Nancy alone. She’s as smart as she is beautiful. She’s on the honor roll, wants to go to Columbia, has two younger siblings, and does ballet. She laughs at Steve’s jokes and encourages him, but teases him about football, that he probably isn’t very good, and he counters back with, 

“Well you’ve never seen me play.” 

Nancy scoffs, 

“Oh I’ve went to plenty of games.” 

Steve nods, 

“Yeah to see your brother, not me.” 

She purses her lips together, 

“You’re right.” 

He smiles, this is his chance, 

“Come Friday night.” 

Her eyes flicker to Barb, but Steve holds his gaze, finally she nods, 

“Okay, Friday.” 

Steve’s nervous Friday. He always has to do his best, but today especially. He’d been asked to stay late at work so he’d only gotten like an hour of sleep, then he’d had a math quiz, and now it was a game against their biggest rival. And Nancy Wheeler was going to be watching. 

Everything happens as a blur. The other team, the school from two towns over, Wilmot High, plays good. They are good. The coach is screaming in their face during every timeout, even though they’re two touchdowns ahead. But two isn’t enough. Steve can’t help but look out into the crowd, wondering if Nancy's made it. 

Finally he spots her, in the stands. Her hair is in perfect curls and she’s wearing a red beanie, and a Hawkins High long sleeved t-shirt with a hint of maroon lipstick. She looks beautiful, even from all the way down here. She waves at him shyly, and he realizes Barb isn’t there, and waves back. He’s brought out of his daydream when Tommy slaps his back, 

“You ready Harrington?” 

Steve nods, slinging his helmet back on, 

“Yeah, let’s win this shit!” 

They win. Barely. Tommy manages to throw the ball to Donavan, who throws it to Steve, who barely, just barely, stumbles back to score the touchdown. The team is dogpiling him, and there’s cheering and everything. But Steve just can’t help thinking about Nancy. Finally it’s time to hit the showers, and when he heads back to the bench to grab his stuff, Nancy’s there, in her too tight jeans, arms crossed over her chest, smiling. 

“Well hey there superstar,” she says. 

Steve smiles, 

“I told you I was good.” 

She nods, 

“That you did.” 

He smiles, and just stares at her. She is so beautiful. He’s about to tell her such, when she shivers, 

“You cold?” he asks immediately. 

She nods, 

“It’s a bit colder than I thought it would be. Damn Indiana.” 

He laughs, 

“Damn Indiana,” he agrees. 

He grabs his varsity jacket off the bench and hands it to her, 

“Here.” 

She shakes her head, 

“I shouldn’t-” 

“Please?” 

“Well since you asked so nicely,” she shrugs it on, and then looks up at him, “so this is your thing?” 

He nods, 

“This is my thing.” 

She nods, surveying the field, 

“It’s cool I guess. A bit rowdy I suppose.” 

“Wait til you see a pro game and everyone’s drunk.” 

“Oh I think they started early,” she says, shoving her hands in her pockets. 

Steve nods, he doesn’t want the conversation to end. He’s starting to get cold, the sweat on his skin chilling, 

“Since I came to your thing, maybe you can come to my thing sometime,” she says quietly. 

“Yes,” he agrees, before she even finishes her sentence. 

She laughs, eyes crinkling, 

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” she accuses. 

He shrugs, 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m there.” 

She stares at him, calculating, 

“There’s a recital at the end of the month.” 

“I’d love to come.” 

She raises an eyebrow at him, 

“You better.” 

He nods, 

“I’m there.” 

They stare at each other a few more moments. They’re the only ones still on the field but it feels likes they’re the only ones in the world. 

“I better hit the showers,” he says finally, before he can say something stupid. 

She nods, 

“Yeah I better get home.” 

“Hot date with Dateline?” He teases. 

She grins toothily, 

“First of all, it’s Law and Order, second of all, shut up!” 

He laughs, and she wraps her arms around herself, heading towards the parking lot. Steve’s really hoping she’s still going to say goodbye, trying to debate if he should say something else when she turns around, hands in the pocket of his jacket as she shrugs, 

“I hope you know I’m keeping this!” she shouts. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way!” he shouts back. 

She’s walking backwards, still looking at him, and finally he shouts, “Can I take you out?!” 

She stops walking. He can see her smirk from across the field, 

“Took you long enough! Hurry up and shower!” she shouts, headed back towards him. 

Steve smiles, and jogs back to the school. 

When he gets out, hair still a bit damp, Nancy’s on a bench waiting for him, legs crossed, 

“So where are we going on this wonderful Friday night?” she asks, looking up at him. 

“The diner?” 

She taps her chin, 

“Hm, only if you order cheese fries, so I can order a side salad, but then eat the entire plate of cheese fries myself,” she says seriously, a glint in her blue eyes. 

He smiles down at her, 

“Deal.” 

Steve is surprisingly sheepish around her. And it’s history. Steve walks her to and from every class, they go to the movies and eat too much popcorn, and Nancy steals all of his peanut M&Ms though she insisted she did not want any. And she steals his favorite sweatpants, and Nike slides, and wears every pink item in her closet in a row, because Steve says he likes it best on her. 

Her recital is three weeks later, and he watches her move gracefully in a purple golden tutu across the stage and when she’s done, he approaches her in front of her entire family and hugs her tight. Her hair is slicked back into a tight bun and she’s wearing a ton of makeup and smiling at him and there’s red lipstick on her front tooth and he turns to her parents and holds out his hand, 

“Hi, I’m Steve Harrington, Nancy’s boyfriend.” 

 

*** 

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone as much as I love you,” he says quietly, “not even my parents. I had a grandma, but she died when I was young,” he wrinkled his nose, “she made us eat a lot of sauerkraut. And put soap in my mouth if I was bad, that’s what I remember.” 

“She doesn’t sound the best,” Nancy says. 

He shakes his head, 

“No, no, she was. She taught me Polish.” 

“You know Polish?” Nancy asks, shocked. 

“Not anymore.” 

“What was her name?” asks Nancy softly. Doing that thing with her voice that made him want to crack open his own heart and share the contents with her. 

“Elenora.”

She hums, uses their hands to touch her stomach. Their baby, 

“Magnolia Elenora is pretty.” 

“It’s a mouthful.” 

“You’re a mouthful!” she retorts, “Besides, what did we say?” 

She can hear Steve roll his eyes, 

“Since the baby is coming out of your vagina, you get the final say,” he deadpans. 

She kisses his cheek, 

“That’s right! I get the very final say. However, if you don’t like it,” she starts, hesitant. 

“I love it.” 

She smiles, 

“I’m glad. Now will you tell Magnolia Elenora to stop kicking my bladder.” 

Steve places his hand on her stomach, 

“Now bug, you need to let your mommy rest. At least until she gets her frosty. Trust me, it’s in everyone’s best interest.” 

A few moments later the kicking stops and she rolls her eyes dramatically, 

“Oh god. A Daddy’s Girl already.” 

He laughs, 

“She sure is.” 

Nancy’s a touch more relaxed once she gets her food, and they eat on their loveseat. 

“Did you ever think you’d have kids?” she asks. 

He shakes his head, 

“Not really. But then again I never thought I’d get married either.” 

“Why not?” 

“I was pretty much resigned to a future of hating myself and drinking too much.” 

She looks up at him, eyebrows furrowed, 

“Well that’s depressing.” 

He shrugs, 

“Come on, you wanted to be Karen 2.0?” 

She tosses a fry at him, 

“Good point. I mean, no, but. I wanted to be a momma.”   
“Cause you’re gonna be a good one.” 

“You know you’re gonna be a great Dad right? Like, the best ever.” 

He hesitates, 

“You really think so?” 

“I know so. I know we don’t talk about this stuff much but, you’re not your parents. You could never be your parents. And if you treat our daughter half as good as me, then she’ll be the luckiest girl in the world.” 

He smiles, 

“Thank you. I think you’re going to be an amazing mom too. You, you’re the best person I know. The most selfless person I’ve ever met in my entire life.” 

She kisses his head, and leans back, smiling wide, 

“Thanks baby.” 

Pregnant Nancy is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Her hair’s long and seems more shiny than usual, even though she mostly wears it up, or in a braid because she complains it’s too hot. Her skin is literally glowing. Steve had thought it was a myth. When people said pregnant women glow, but Nancy does. She radiates a halo around her, skin glowing, cheeks always pink. Her face has gotten a bit fatter, from all the weight she’s put on, and while Nanch complains, Steve thinks she looks beautiful. 

Her full cheeks, that turn even more red when she laughs. Her eyes always crinkle at the corners when she smiles. She’s thicker, all plush and soft curves. Her arms jiggle when she talks animatedly and her fingers are swollen but Steve kisses them all the same. Her breasts are huge and full of milk, and Steve rests his head on them, every chance he gets. Stares at the cleavage that somehow spills out of every shirt she owns, and doesn’t even feel bad about it. 

Her stomach is round and adorable, and he’s constantly touching her, feeling the life inside of her. The life he helped create. Her hip bones are covered with fat and he kisses them gently as he kisses her stomach until she laughs and pushes him away. Her thighs, oh god her thighs are thick and they jiggle too, even though she complains at the ripples of cellulite that have started appearing. Her ass is thicker too, back filling out to curve and stretch her leggings. Her feet are always swollen, and he massages them every night to no avail. She elevates them and takes to wearing slip ons she thinks are ugly, because no other shoes will fit. 

Pregnant Nancy is beautiful. Even when she’s crying hysterically because she burns dinner, big fat tears running down her cheeks as if she’s done something awful. When she’s snapping at him, face flustered in frustration, chest heaving. When she’s smiling, so wide, he thinks she may crack right down the middle. When she’s laughing, body shaking as she throws her head back. When she’s on top of him, which had taken a ton of convincing, because she insisted she was too heavy. 

What she doesn’t understand is that he’s been feeling the weight of her for years. The weight of her stare, her love, her kisses, had built like a mountain in his chest. It was difficult to breathe at first, through all of her love. The weight buried at the bottom of his heart, stretching to fill his chest with constant reassurance. But as the years went on, it got easier. Easier to accommodate the weight of the words love, and wife, and forever and I trust you, and I love you, and you’re the best person I know. 

The physical presence of Nancy has never been heavy. Not when it was fifty minutes daily in high school or when it turned into 24/7 365. Her kisses were never heavy. Her body in his lap, against the wall, on top of him in their bed. Her body carrying her over the threshold or helping her from when she slipped on ice. Not heavy like the gold ring that sits on his finger and makes it hard to type his papers. Until one day it molds into his body. He doesn’t know who he was before he was married. Before Nancy. 

All he remembers is bundles of anger and hate and hurt. He believed he was such a grossly bad person, that everything in the world had to be bad. All he knew was pain and he didn’t know how to get anything else. How to demand anything else. And it was funny that he’d figured his whole life had been so much pain, that he could bear anything. But the pain of being loved by someone else, was, different. It had taken years to get used to, years to understand. Some days he still didn’t understand. Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night, the weight of love crushing his ribs, to which of course Nancy woke up, and hugged him, held him, rubbed his back and gave him sips of water, as if that wouldn’t make it harder. 

So no the physical weight of her is never too much. He loves it. Wants her pregnant all the time, and he tells her as much, cupping her stomach and breasts as she rocks back and forth on him slowly. He pulls her into her lap all the time, holding her tightly. Nancy’s constantly been a weight in his life. A heavy weight. A weight that keeps him tethered to Earth. To happiness and life itself it seemed. He’s grown so accustomed to the weight that he wonders what else he could get used to. He thinks anything. 

It’s no more than two days later, when Nancy’s rings get stuck on her finger. Steve’s in the shower, when Nancy bursts in, in hysterics already, 

“My ring is stuck,” she cries. 

Her voice is already thick with tears and Steve pokes his head out. She’s in a black nightgown that should not be as sexy as it is, but Steve’s pretty sure his new kink is pregnant Nancy, and he’s willing to accept it. Her hair is up in a messy bun, and there’s fat tears rolling down her face, cheeks already red.

“You can’t get them off?” 

“Isn’t that what stuck means?” she asks, “What am I gonna do?! Oh my god!” 

“Babe, you’ve gotta calm down. Go get the olive oil. I gotta wash the shampoo out of my hair and then I’ll be down.” 

“But, but,” she hiccups, “I don’t wanna take them off!” she all but wails. 

“Baby,” he coos, “it’s gonna be okay. You have to take them off, otherwise you’re gonna hurt your finger.” 

“But, but,” 

“Come here,” he says, holding out a wet arm. 

She walks over and looks up at him, blue eyes red, 

“You’ve gotta breathe for me Nancy. Take a deep breath for me. I’ll do it with you.” 

She nods, and takes a deep breath, 

“Okay.” 

“We’ll figure something out, okay? Give me five minutes.” 

She nods, and he squeezes her hand, and she sighs, 

“I’m being ridiculous. Finish your shower, it’ll still be stuck in twenty minutes.” 

He shakes his head, 

“I’m good, I promise.” 

She eyes him suspiciously, 

“10 minutes. I don’t want you to stink.” 

He laughs loudly, 

“Oh shut up. Fine, ten minutes.” 

By the time he’s finished his shower and dressed in some pajamas, Nancy’s stopped crying. Her face is still splotchy, eyes bloodshot red, but she’s sitting at the kitchen table with the bottle of olive oil in front of her. 

“Oh god,” she whines. 

Steve sits next to her, and pulls the chair over, grabbing her hand. Sure enough, it’s swollen, and her finger is already red. 

“Jesus,” he mutters, slicking up his hand. 

“I know, it’s horrible.” 

“It’ll be okay, we’re gonna get-” 

“Ow!” 

He winces, 

“Sorry. Shit. This is gonna hurt.” 

She takes in a shuddery breath and he looks up at her, 

“Hey, no crying. What are we gonna watch after this?” 

“Watch? It’s almost nine o’clock. It’s my bedtime.” 

He laughs, working over the ring, 

“Come on, we’re young. We should watch a movie or something.” 

“Can we order pizza?” 

Steve does not comment on how they’d just eaten at like six, 

“Of course,” he says. 

“Oh good, I suppose we could watch something funny like- oh fuck!” she shouts, as Steve pops the rings off. 

On their wood table sits her wedding band and engagement ring, and Steve kisses her finger. He gets up to go grab her some ice, and he puts some in a towel, bringing it back, and placing it on her finger. She’s crying silently, and he kisses her cheek, 

“Nancy, honey, it’s really okay. I can go get them resized tomorrow.” 

“That’s a waste of money! I, I’ll just have to deal with it, but, I’m,” she sniffles. 

Steve bites his lip, they really don’t have any extra money but she still has about three months of this, and he knows, her not wearing her rings is gonna kill her. Suddenly, he gets a brilliant idea. He sets the makeshift ice pack down, and slides his ring off his finger, and onto hers. The plain gold band slides down her swollen finger easily, and he smiles, 

“Perfect!” 

She flexes her hand in the light, smiling down at the ring, 

“But wait, what about you?” 

He grabs Nancy’s wedding band, and tries to slide it on. It’s a touch tight, barely sliding over his knuckle, but eventually it fits, probably to do with the oil still slicking it. It’s hilarious, the diamond silver band on his finger, and he flashes it at her, 

“I think I like this better than mine. What do you think?” 

She rolls her eyes, 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“You love it. I’ll get you a chain for your engagement ring.” 

“What would I do without you?” 

He pulls her into his lap, 

“Probably cry yourself to death.” 

“Hey!” she smacks his shoulder and he laughs against her sternum. 

“Kidding, kidding.” 

She holds one hand against his head, playing with his hair, as he rests his head against her breasts, breathing against her chest. 

“I love being married to you,” he says against her soft skin. 

She massages his scalp, 

“I love you more.” 

He presses a kiss to her, 

“I love you so much it hurts sometimes. You’re the only thing I’ve ever done right,” he admits to her vanilla scented skin. 

She’s quiet for a moment, hand still moving in his hair. She presses a kiss against his forehead, 

“I love you more.”   
***

He’d thought it was a joke. When she first said it. They were laying in bed. A fluffy king size bed, in a too expensive hotel room that he’d rented for prom. Prom was fun, it was better than he’d expected honestly. Nancy had her hair styled in these soft, like loose waves, and she wore a strapless pink, sparkly dress that reminded him of Cinderella, and she blinked through false lashes up at him and gave him soft, pink lipstick kisses. 

They’d stayed at the dance much longer than he’d expected, and then fucked off to get drunk at the hotel. It had only taken about two drinks for Nancy to shed her dress, it was too expensive to get ruined, and Steve followed suit, sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxers. They get distracted from drinking when Nancy crawls into his lap and starts sucking the line of his jaw. 

They fuck like that, Nancy’s arms wrapped around his neck, moaning into his ear as he mouths at her breasts, too lazy to unhook her bra. Nancy catches her breath before Steve, and pushes her hair behind her ear, 

“We should order room service,” she says, thumb rubbing over his collarbone, “I’m starving.” 

And Steve’s staring at her, hair falling, face a bit shiny, lipstick smeared, sweat between her breasts, his dick still inside her, 

“I really love you,” he says quietly, shocking even himself. 

Nancy’s eyes snap up to him at that, and he blushes, wanting to say something else, anything else, but the words won’t come. One corner of her mouth curves up into a half smile, 

“I love you more,” she says, climbing out of his lap, making them both wince, and going over to grab the menu. 

He wasn’t sure if he was drunk, or made it up, but it seemed strange. He knew he could have picked a better time to say it. Truly any other time probably would have been better. When they weren’t drunk, when it wasn’t prom, when she didn’t have a face full of makeup on, when he wasn’t inside of her. It eats him up. And she clearly didn’t think he was serious. Who said that? I love you more? It was ridiculous. And it left a stinging in his gut, that not even more booze, or Nancy feeding him mac and cheese, could help lessen. 

It is weeks before he tries again. Weeks. The feeling is still the same. He knows what love is, and this is it. His every thought, prayer, everything is Nancy. It’s raining. And the weather had lied apparently, so they run out to his truck after school, and Nancy is cursing, as she hefts herself into the truck. Her hair is soaked, flattened against her forehead and there’s a few mascara tracks under her eyes, and her shirt is tacky and sticking to her, and she laughs when she sees Steve’s hair is falling into his face, and he’s shivering, his thin white t-shirt completely soaked through. 

She shivers, and wrings out her hair on the floor of his truck and laughs at the look of shock on his face, 

“Sorry,” she says, even though the last thing she looks is sorry. 

He continues to stare at her and she starts laughing. She laughs loudly, throwing her head back as if this is the funniest thing in the world. Eventually Steve starts laughing too, just because when he hears Nancy laugh, he laughs, because she’s so loud and obnoxious. Finally her laughter subsides, 

“For real, sorry.” 

He shrugs,

“I’m not.” 

She looks at him curiously, and he smiles, 

“I love you.” 

She grins, 

“I love you more,” she says, leaning in to kiss him softly. 

His gut twists again, but she pulls back at him and looks up at him with her bright blue eyes, 

“Take me home and get me warm?” 

He nods, swallowing hard, 

“Um, yeah.” 

The rain has let up slightly by the time they get to his house, but they’re still soaked. They rush in, and it’s empty, as per usual. They head upstairs to his room, and Steve starts Nancy a hot shower. He’s not prepared for her to strip off her wet shirt while he’s still in the bathroom, and she unclasped her bra, looking up at him coyly, 

“I need you to get me warm too.” 

He nods, and she pulls his shirt over his head, running her hands down his chest. She lands at his belt buckle, and undoes it, slowly, fingers scraping through his happy trail. She unbuttons his pants, and pushes them with his boxers, to the floor. She slides down his body, taking his pants with her, and kneeling in front of him. She wraps her hands around his calves, to help him step out of his pants, and she slides her hands up his thighs. 

He’s been half hard since she took her shirt off, and she wraps her hand around his dick, giving him a few strokes. Her hands are a touch cold, but that doesn’t really matter when she licks the tip of his dick. He groans and she slides down over him, looking up at him with wide eyes. His hand threads in her hair as she bobs back and forth on him. Nancy gives good head, like lowkey amazing. And he barely believed her that she’d never done this before. She doesn’t have a strong gag reflex, and she always swallows around him perfectly, fingers scratching up his thighs. 

She sucks him eagerly, and he looks up, so he doesn’t come in like five seconds flat. She backs off to tongue at the slit, moaning at the taste of precome. She scratches through the hair on his stomach as she slides back down. He hits the back of her throat and groans, fingers tightening in her hair. It’s quiet except for his heavy panting, the sound of the shower pounding, and the slick sound of her sucking him. 

He comes easily, as she gags around him, nose brushing his pubes, and he moans her name as he shoots down her throat, and she swallows, wiping the corner of her mouth, grinning up at him. She stands up slowly, and pushes her panties and jeans down and grabs his hand, and leads him into the shower. 

He stands with his back to the shower head, and she stares at him. He wonders what she’s looking for sometimes. She grabs the bar of soap and wets it, starting at his neck and jaw. She scrubs over his body slowly, eyes drinking him in. She runs her fingers over the hollow of his throat. His collarbones and nipples. She traces suds down his chest and kneels again, soaping up his dick and legs. Steve never understands. He knows that it’s probably degrading to be on her knees, he knows. He knows how guys treat girls, but he’s never been that way. He knows Nancy’s never been with anyone but him, but he’s always surprised when she sinks to them easily enough, knowing he’s looking at her with nothing but love. 

She taps his leg, and he lifts it so she can scrub the bottom of his foot. He thinks he could do this forever. Stay encapsulated in her beauty. Inside and out. He wishes he could climb inside the chambers of her heart and live there forever, warm and safe. 

He feels slightly pathetic when he mumbles, 

“I meant it you know.” 

She looks up, eyebrows furrowed, eyes wide and believing, 

“I know, I know,” she kisses his knee, “I mean it too, I love you more.” 

He pulls away, heart breaking. It’s cracked wide open and he swears he can feel the blood in his chest cavity, sinking down to drown his lungs. He doesn’t know why she keeps making fun of him. Nancy’s never been cruel. She can’t. Even when she’s mean, her voice is soft and sweet, lips glossed, eyes shining. But somehow that makes it hurt even worse, he can’t breathe, and he stumbles out of the shower, landing hard, pain shoots up his ankles, and he walks naked to the hall closet to pull a towel out. He wraps one around his waist, then one around his shoulders too, as if the physical barrier of it would somehow protect him. 

“Steve!” she calls frantically. 

He hears her shut the water off, and then she’s in the hallway with him, dripping wet. He can’t look at her naked body, and so he takes the towel from around his shoulders, and hands it to her. Exposing himself to cover her. 

“What just happened?” she asks a bit breathless. 

Emotional whiplash will do that to you. 

“Why do you keep making fun of me?” He asks quietly. 

He hates himself. It he was more of a man, like his father said, he’d be yelling at her. Shaking her. Demanding the truth. 

“Honey what do you mean?” she asks softly, as if not to spook him. 

He can’t look at her right now, he can’t.

“You keep making fun of me. You, I say I love you, and then you just say you love me more. You don’t have to say it back if you don’t mean it.” 

He squares his shoulders, 

“Don’t say it back if you don’t mean it.” 

It’s silent for a minute, and then she’s pulling him close. She pushes his head into the space between her neck and shoulder and kisses his forehead, 

“Oh Steve, baby,” she kisses his forehead again, “My grandma used to say that to me. She never hesitated. It rolled off her tongue so easily that you truly believed she meant it. That somehow she had a stronger capacity to love than you. That she truly loved you more than you could love her. More than you could love yourself. Not only that, but she loved you more than any mistake you could make, anything you ever did wrong, anything you did right. She loved you more. End of story.” 

She runs her hand through his wet hair, 

“I have loved you since we were sitting in that damn diner and when I asked why you weren’t eating any cheese fries you said you thought I wanted them all. And when I asked what kind of girl you thought I was, because apparently it was one that didn’t share, you said you thought I was the best girl in Hawkins and perhaps the world. And that you wouldn’t take your letterman jacket back even if I tried, which I was never going to by the way. And so I gladly took it, and you did not kiss me at my doorstep, but rather the next morning stormed up to my locker before physics and went on an on about what a mistake you made, before kissing me in front of everyone, until the vice principal separated us.” 

She squeezes the back of his neck, with cold, pruney fingers, 

“I’m not making fun of you. The fact is Steve Harrington, however much you love me, I love you more.” 

He breathes against her. His heart stitching itself back together with Nancy Wheeler thread. He feels warm despite his soaked body, and she’s pressed against him firmly, anchoring him to the ground. She’s always anchoring him. He pulls back, and she’s blinking up at him expectantly, blue eyes surrounded in sticky black traces of makeup, cheeks pink from probably the heat, and the situation, hair dripping, 

“Is everything with you a competition?” he asks, smiling. 

She barks out a shocked laugh, 

“Well, I mean, yes. But not this. I’ve already won.” 

“Is that so?” 

She leans in to peck a kiss to his lips, 

“That’s so. I love you more,” she whispers against his mouth. 

As he licks into hers, he realizes he can taste the weight of the words on her tongue. 

***

They’ve only been in three fights their entire relationship. And it’s not to say they weren’t bad, it’s just that they were minimal, and everyone left fairly unscathed. Magnolia had never been a particularly hard baby. In fact, they couldn’t have asked for a better first baby. As a newborn she wakes up to eat of course, but mostly, Nancy can just change her, pop her on her tit, and they fall back asleep easily, Magnolia cushioned between her and Steve. By six weeks she typically sleeps 5-6 hours a night, and it’s a blessing. 

That’s why the colic throws them off. Magnolia is five months old, with the worst case of colic, probably in the entire world. The doctor had been no help, even as Nancy cried in his office, because her baby was so much in pain, and had given her a few self soothing techniques, but nothing else. 

That’s why everything is a shit show. They hadn’t went grocery shopping, so they’d been living off fast food and takeout for four days. Nancy hasn’t showered in six, Steve in five. Laundry is piled up in their laundry room, and the last time Steve had went to pick up Burger King, he’d stopped at Walmart to buy a pack of onesies, because the three of them have no clothes. 

Nancy’s been wearing the same sweatpants for two days, Steve is down to his last t-shirt. It’s a disaster. Nothing helps. Magnolia screams and cries, and coughs. The warm baths don’t help, the cold pacifiers. Sucking on frozen grapes, rocking, burping, rubbing her back, her swing, nothing is fucking working. They’re lucky if she sleeps two hours at a time, and they sit around waiting for her to fall asleep so they can too. 

It’s driving them crazy. Nancy’d tried to take the ponytail out of her hair the day previous to brush it at least, while Magnolia was sleeping, but she’d given up when she’d realized how many knots it was in. She brushes her teeth even though she has no concept of morning or night anymore. She can’t remember the last time she’d kissed Steve, or they’d slept in their bed. They slept wherever they could manage, dropped like flies when Magnolia fell asleep. Steve usually let her have the couch as he curled up on the floor, or sat in the arm chair. 

It’s day six of the baby apocalypse which is what they’ve taken to calling it, and it’s nearing two in the morning. Nancy is in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. Steve is bouncing Magnolia in the living room and she’s wailing. Nancy winces as she pulls two mugs out of the overcrowded sink, and rinses them out. Good enough. 

Her teeth feel fuzzy and she makes a mental note to brush her teeth the next time she gets a chance. But her toothbrush is all the way upstairs, and they’ve taken to pretty much living on the first floor. She’s pretty sure the clothes she’s wearing, one of Steve’s sweatshirts and a pair of too tight sweatpants, have become one with her body. She’s pretty sure she’s going to have to cut her hair off at this point, it’s so ratty and she’s sure her eyelashes will flake off from the mascara that’s been on for a fucking week. 

Steve’s not looking much better, and she has never seen bags this prominent under his eyes. She sighs, trying to tune out the screaming as she pours two mugs of coffee. She goes to the fridge to grab some creamer and a bottle of cold water and she groans. 

“Steve we’re out of creamer!” 

Steve pokes his head in the kitchen, 

“Shit, really?” 

“Well apparently! There’s none in there!” She says annoyed. 

“Sorry, I had other things on my mind!” he bounces Magnolia, “This isn’t the best time to point this out either, but I don’t think we’ve eaten today.” 

Nancy slams the door to the refrigerator, 

“Jesus Christ Steve!” 

“How is this my fault?!” He demands, yanking the bottle of water out of her hand and feeding it to Magnolia. 

She suckles easily and for the love of god stops crying. 

“You were the last one to make coffee!” she shouts. 

“Nancy, I can’t fucking be in charge of everything! You wanted to sleep when Maggie slept!” 

“Well of course I do! I haven’t slept twenty four hours in the last three days!” 

“Neither have I! God, I’ll go get some fucking creamer if you want. Why don’t you put some milk in it?” 

Nancy rolls her eyes, 

“You don’t think I thought of that? We don’t have milk, we don’t have fucking anything,” she says hysterically. 

Steve looks up at her, 

“It’s gonna be-” 

“Don’t tell me it’s gonna be okay! It’s not!” and then she’s sobbing, “I, my fucking tits hurt, because she’s not taking my breast and all she does is cry. I’m so fucking tired. I wanna shower. I wanna pee in peace. I never wanna drink another cup of coffee again! I don’t wanna eat another fucking burger, I’m sick of sleeping on the fucking couch. I just,” she breaks off, leaning against the counter, sobbing. 

Steve sighs. He’s annoyed. He’s tired as shit and Nancy’s always had a flair for the dramatics, as if she’s doing everything alone and he’s not helping. 

“It’s gonna be fine. You’re just, overtired and emotional. Why don’t you go lay down?” he tries to coo, helping her away from the counter. 

She looks up at him, eyes narrowed, 

“Now you’re trying to coddle me like I’m some hysterical housewife.” 

“Well that’s how you’re acting! Shit Nancy, I haven’t slept either! Or showered! You’re acting like you do everything alone!” 

“Are you fucking kidding? I never-” She’s cut off by the sound of Magnolia wailing. 

“Fuck,” Steve hisses, setting the bottle on the counter, “look what you did.” 

“What I did?! You know what, give her to me-” Nancy says, grabbing Magnolia. She presses her head to her chest and kisses her forehead, bouncing her, “Come on mama, let’s go to bed okay? Do you wanna go to sleep?” 

Magnolia stops wailing to suck at Nancy’s chest and she immediately pulls her shirt up to help her latch onto her nipple. When Magnolia starts feeding, she breathes out a sigh of relief, 

“Thank god.” 

Steve just stares, then heads to the doorway, 

“While you’re doing that, I’m gonna go shower.” 

“What?!” Nancy shouts, “Are you fucking kidding?!” 

He shakes his head,

“No, I’m really not. You’ve got the milk, so while you’re doing that, I’m going to shower before she has an episode.” 

Nancy scoffs, 

“Really? I’m the only one who can feed her now?” 

He shrugs, 

“It’s more convienient for you.” 

She nods, eyes filling with tears again, 

“You’re a fucking dick.” 

He purses his lips together and nods, 

“You’re right,” and then he’s up the stairs. 

Nancy jsut stares in shock, they never talk to each other like this. Ever. The tears fall easily and she moves to sit in the armchair. Magnolia eats eagerly, and she tries to focus on her daughter’s warmth, rather than how much she hates her husband in this moment. She cries as quietly as she can as not to spook Magnolia, then burps her. 

Magnolia doesn’t start crying immediately, so Nancy bounces her on her lap, and sings quietly to her. She has about three songs she rotates, only because she only wants Magnolia to know those ones. She knows it’s stupid, but Steve thinks it’s funny, and it’s only right she should know the song that she was named over, right?

Steve comes down just as Magnolia starts crying again, wearing fresh clothes, hair damp. Nancy wants to choke him. She stands up and hands Magnolia to him, 

“I’m going to the store to get a few things. Anything you want?” 

“You to not be a moody bitch,” he says snidely, looking at the tear tracks on her face. 

“Yeah, well I want my husband to not be a selfish dick, but I don’t think they have that at Lucky’s so we’re both gonna be dissapointed.” 

Steve rolls his eyes, and Nancy pecks Magnolia on the forehead, staring up at her husband. His eyes are bloodshot red, 

“Text me if you need anything,” she mumbles, grabbing her purse and heading out the door. 

She stops at the gas station down the street to get a coffee before she braves the twenty minute drive to Walmart. She makes it strong, with just enough cream to make it bareable. She cries, of course she does. She’s. She’s falling apart. Her daughter is sick, she won’t sleep, barely eats, and thee’s nothing she can do about it. She can’t sleep or shower and her and Steve just go through cycles of setting each other off. Whether it’s her calling him an asshole or him calling her a bitch, they’ve been struggling lately. She loves him so much, she loves Magnolia so much, but this is a lot. Her mom has already helped them so much, and they were adults now, and they had to deal with it. 

That didn’t mean things weren’t rough between them. Things had been different since Magnolia had been born of course, and Nancy’d been insecure about a lot of things. But Steve reassured her that he was still attracted to her, he still loved her, everything. But it was times like these, when it didn’t feel like it. 

***

The doctor’s orders were to wait six weeks to have sex, until she healed. Steve had graciously marked it on the calender hanging on their kitchen, in red sharpie, his scrawled writing reading : SEX!!! 

Nancy appreciated his effort, but she was not feeling the least bit sexy. What no one told you was that your body didn’t go back to normal after giving birth. Though it had gone down some, in six weeks, leaving her looking fat rather than pregnant, she still didn’t look normal. Her stomach was covered in deep, angry red stretch marks she’d never had before, and of course her body was still thick from the weight she’d gained. 

But Steve had been so excited, kissing her sweetly and whispering a countdown in her ear like he couldn’t wait to get inside her, which she really didn’t understand. They’d been in bed one night, the wee hours of the morning before the actual morning, Magnolia was still on her breast, though falling asleep, and Steve was staring at her. 

“What?” she whispers, looking up at him. 

He shakes his head, 

“I didn’t think I could love you any more than I already did. But the way you are with her, the way you look at her. We made her. She’s ours. The greatest parts of you and me.” 

Nancy smiles, 

“We did.” 

“You’re,” he breathes out slowly, “You’re the best person I know. I will never be deserving of you.” 

Nancy shakes her head and wraps her hand around his wrist, 

“You already are already.” 

He takes her in. His wife, and daughter. Every dream, nightmare, hope he’s ever had tied in to two people. The universe sitting in his tiny little house. His piece of heaven carved from tears, and booze and bruises, sitting in front of him, shining in way of a dreary eyed woman who still smiles, and a half asleep angel pillowed on soft warm skin. He suddenly gets the urge to cry. His eyes burning, that familiar burn in his nose and throat, and before he knows it, a tear drops, splashing onto Nancy’s arm. 

“Baby are you okay?” she asks, reaching up to card a hand through his soft hair. Everything is so soft. 

He nods, 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just, I love you so much,” he chokes out finally. 

Nancy who’d showed him what a family was. Who welcomed him with open arms. He celebrates Christmas now, and Thanksgiving and Easter. There’s someone to make him a birthday cake, and he has to fight Mike for the last piece. He gets phone calls, at assorted times of the day, different times of the week. From Holly, or El, or Mike, or Karen or Dustin. Sometimes even Ted. Calling to ask about their day because they care, or asking what he wants for dinner. Bringing him coffee, or his favorite chocolate. Being there to hold him when he’s upset. 

Nancy is his whole world. And sometimes, he likes to pretend that he’s her’s. She kisses him palm, and scoots closer to him. She turns on her side so Magnolia can lay between them and nudges him with her cold nose, 

“I love you more.” 

“Debatable,” he says, kissing her forehead. 

He tucks his head down on her breast, kisses it softly, 

“Three more days,” he mumbles. 

She stiffens slightly, and his gut twists with sadness. He hates that she feels insecure. 

“Three more days,” she says back softly. 

Sex day is here. Steve had even gotten Karen to let Magnolia stay at her house, which of course wasn’t a big deal. Steve had tried to wine and dine her, but she was still nervous. She’s drinking her third glass of wine, she’d pumped extra so she could pump and dump the next day, and he knows it only takes about 4 glasses for her to be drunk. She tends to only drink two, to keep it at just tispy. 

“You know we don’t have to do this,” Steve says, growing more and more uncomfortable. 

It wasn’t that he needed sex. They went through periods where they didn’t have sex for, weeks sometimes. He’d just wanted Nancy to know that he still wanted her. Nancy’d always been extremely thin, and he figured if the roles had been reversed, he’d feel insecure too. But, he loved everything about Nancy. He did. And if he’s honest, he thinks he loves her body more now. She’s soft, everywhere. 

“Nancy?” 

She nods, 

“I, I bought something. Lingere, it’s dumb, but, let me put it on first. Give me like five minutes?” 

Steve nods, 

“Of course.” 

Nancy walks up the stairs, tries really hard not to stumble. She’s not drunk, delightfully tipsy and she heads into their bedroom to shed her clothes and change into the baby pink teddy. It’s Steve’s favorite color on her, her tits are practically falling out, and she heads to the bathroom. She puts on a swipe of lipstick and pulls her hair up into a messy bun he said makes her look like a naughty secretary, and by the time she emerges, Steve’s there. She hadn’t realized she’d been in there so long, because he’d shut off the light and lit a few candles. 

She smiles softly and walks over towards him, stretching up to kiss him, 

“Thank you.” 

He kisses her softly, 

“Thank you. You look, stunning.” 

She laughs lightly, 

“You only like the tits.” 

He cups them gently, they’re so soft and warm and full, 

“How do you feel about being pregnant all the time? Then they can just stay like this.” 

She laughs, 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

“I’m so serious,” he says, tugging his shirt off. 

She runs her hands down his chest, 

“If I got a mom bod, when the hell are you gonna get your dad bod?” 

Steve grins, 

“Whenever you want me too.” 

She shakes her head and he unbuttons his jeans, heading over to the edge of the bed to sit down. She shakes her head and pushes him back, so he’s sitting against the headboard and then hesitates, before settling herself in his lap. He groans at the weight of her and her heart rate spikes and he wraps his hands around her waist, 

“No, no stay. Kiss me,” he begs, voice low. 

Nancy’s always been a good kisser. Syrupy sweet and slow, kitten licks and soft plush lips. He moans into her mouth and runs his hands up her sides slowly. She looks so good, He hasn’t touched her in so long. It’s been years, but he still feels as if he’s learning her body, especially like this. He nuzzles down to kiss at her neck and jaw. She’s so soft and always smells like vanilla and honey. 

She’s right. He loves her tits. Loves. They’ve shot up about two sizes and no matter what she wears, they’re out. Then she’s always feeding Magnoila, and then they never go anywhere, so she walks around in little tank tops and shorts, sans bra and he can see her little nipples poking out and he just wants. Nancy chuckles lightly when he licks across the swell of her breasts, cupping. He’s assuming she wants to keep the lingere on, that was the point, so he looks up at her and slowly pulls her breasts out of the top of it. 

She nods, teeth sinking into her bottom lip and he’s so hard already. Her milky white skin and pretty pink nipples already hard for him. Her hair is up, just a couple trendils falling down and her eyes are a bit lidded from the booze, or arousal. He grinds into her softly as he cups a breast, fuck, it’s so heavy and full he almost needs two hands and laves at her nipple. Nancy’s nipples are always sensitive and he’s gentle, so gentle, as he swirls and sucks and massages. She moans, bucking her hips and he reaches down to just rest his hand against her, and it’s damp. He groans, sucking harder, fingers twisting her other nipple, hips bucking into hers. His erection rubbing against her damp center. He can’t wait to be inside her. 

He wasn’t kidding, he wants her pregnant all the time. Belly up, with his kid. Because he fucked her. He wants everyone to know she is his. Wants her to pad around with her extra weight, extra softness as they chase after their kids. He wants to massage her back and help her put on her shoes, and stare at her flawless body as it grows another human inside of it. He’s honestly just content to sit here under her weight and suck her tits. Eventually he’ll reach down and get his dick out, but not yet. Not with Nancy keening and her little fingernails scratching at her shoulders, rubbing her wet pussy down against his erection. The longer her makes them wait the better it’ll be. 

He’s lost in his own world, when suddenly, there’s a rush of sweet milk in his mouth. 

“Oh my fucking god,” Nancy squeals, mortifyed, shoving him away. 

He can’t help but sit there in shock as she scrambles out of his lap, a trail of white milk sliding down her. His dick blurts out precome and his brain shorts out for a moment. He swallows. 

“No, Nance, wait,” 

She shakes her head and looks near tears, Steve kneels and crawls over to her, 

“Stop, babe, it’s okay, it’s okay.” 

“No it’s not!” she says hysterically. 

Steve stares at her, before sliding off his boxers and grabbing her hand. She palms him, his dick is soaking. 

“You?” 

He nods, 

“Fuck yeah. Do you, is that?” 

She stares at him, 

“You really?” 

He nods, pulling her closer. She follows him back to his position at the headboard and slides her own panties off, before sitting on his lap. She lifts up on her knees momentarily and sinks down slowly, causing both of them to moan. She’s so wet, so warm, and he wraps one hand around her hips and buries the other in her tits. There’s a couple trails of drying milk that he licks up, before looking up at her. Her cheeks are flaming but she nods, and he sucks her nipple into his mouth intentionally now, sucking until the sweet milk floods his mouth.   
He fucks into her as best as he can, hips jerking. He feels out of control. Like a fucking teenager again. It’s so fucking good. Nancy’s keening and she’s running her hands through his hair and down his neck like she’s comforting him, rubbing his back and kissing his forehead as he drinks from her breast, and he can’t even be embarassed, he’s going to come so fucking fast that he has to stop for a moment. He stills his hips and pops off her tit, just breathing heavily into her chest. She never stops carding a hand through his hair and the light and her softness, and her weight and the milk and, 

“Mama,” he breathes onto her sweat dampened skin. 

It’s his turn to tighten with embarassement and he goes to pull away, but she just tightens her hand as if she saw this coming, 

“You’re doing so good baby boy. You’re doing so good for mama.” 

And she says it so easily, and that’s why they get each other, and she rocks down on him, kissing his forehead, 

“Can you come for me baby? I’m close, but I wanna feel you,” she says airly. Softly. She’s so soft. 

He nods, and she lifts a breast back to his mouth, and he can feel her rubbing at her own clit, clenching around him, and as she moans out his name and clamps around him, he shoots deep inside of her, hips stuttering. He lets her breast fall out of his mouth and rests his head against her chest. She soothes him, and eventually she lifts off his dick, his come already starting to slide out. She yanks the lingere over her head, clearly they’ve gotten over any embarassment they’d felt. She lays down next to him and pulls him down with her. He rests his head on her chest, his hands on her tummy and she strokes his bicep, 

“So, um,” he starts, awakwrdly. 

“You don’t have to explain,” she says softly. 

“You liked it?” he asks, biting his lip. 

“I came, didn’t I?” 

He kisses her forehead, 

“Brat.” 

She pinches his arm, 

“You better stop before mommy gives you a spanking.” 

He laughs, looks up at her under his lashes, 

“What if I want one?” 

She laughs and stretches up to kiss him, 

“You’re a menace to society.” 

He whistles, 

“Shit, if you think I am, you should meet my wife.” 

***  
Sitting here, coffee shaking her out of her self pity for a second, she grabs her phone out of her purse and sends Steve a text. She doesn’t call on the off chance the feeding put Magnoila to sleep, and she’s also not expecting a prompt response, so she pockets her phone again, and backs out of the parking lot to her to the store. 

The store isn’t very crowded, but it’s also about two am. She grabs three things of creamer because who knows when she’ll be able to leave their cave again. She grabs another tub of coffee, some uncrustables and frozen pizzas. Mac and cheese and a few premade meals for the oven. She grabs some chips and granola bars for quick nutrients and some Mountain Dew for Steve. She grabs herself a couple pints of ice cream, and Steve a few boxes of Twinkies. 

She’s wandering the aisles, trying to relax really, and find them the easiest food with the most nutrients. She passes the health aisles and after hesitating, heads down the aisle. She figures she may as well grab a couple while she’s here and Steve’s not hovering over her shoulder. So she tosses a couple into the cart, and makes her way to the checkout lane, feeling much better. 

It’s not until Magnolia wakes up, screaming again, that Steve pulls out his phone to text Nancy. He doesn’t respond to her text about loving him more because he reserves the right to be petty until he gets coffee, and asks for two boxes of Twinkies. His favorite. 

 

When Steve jolts awake it’s to a pounding at the door. He figures Nancy must have forgotten her key. He doesn’t remember him and magnolia falling asleep on the couch, but apparently they had, and he stands up, stretching slightly, a sleeping baby still curled against his chest. 

The pounding commences again and he’s about ready to snap at Nancy if Magnolia wakes up, and he unlocks and swings the door open. It’s not Nancy. It’s Hopper, and one of his new deputies. She’s a black woman, dark skinned with curly brown hair and glasses. 

“Hopper, what the,” He looks between them. 

Hopper swallows hard, his hand on his belt,

“Steve, son, there’s been an accident.” 

Steve looks up, 

“What do you mean? Did someone hit my car? I know I shouldn’t have left it on the street but,” he stares at Hopper who looks near tears. 

“Son, why don’t you sit down?” 

Steve stiffens, 

“I don’t want to sit down. What’s going on?” 

Hopper is silent. 

“Tell me right now. What the hell is going on?” 

Hopper swallows hard, 

“There was a robbery at Lucky’s.” 

Steve’s heart drops, 

“Where’s Nancy? Is she okay? Is she in the hospital? Hopper-” he demands frantically. 

“Steve, she was shot. She didn’t make it.” 

Steve shakes his head, takes a bite of his Quaker granola bar, 

“No. She just left, she was just getting us some groceries. Where is she?” He asks, voice hitching up. 

“Steve, Nancy was fatally shot. By the time the ambulance got there, she was already dead. She didn’t make it. Nancy is dead.” He says slowly. 

The world moves slowly. A sob bubbles up deep in his throat and his knees give out from under him. 

“The baby!” the deputy screams, reaching for Magnolia before she drops. 

Steve slams hard on his knees, sobbing. He. The words don’t make sense. Nancy is gone. Dead. The words don’t make sense. He can’t hear Hopper talking to him, or Magnolia screaming. The half eaten granola bar is sitting on the floor in front of him. He can’t breathe. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, choking. Nancy is dead. His wife is dead. 

“I want to see her. Are you sure it’s her? Are you sure? She just, she just went to get us groceries,” he says, looking up. 

Hopper nods, 

“I’ve seen her Steve. I am so so sorry. You can identify the body if you want to.” 

Steve sobs, he can’t see, he can’t breathe, 

“Oh god, Karen. I’ve gotta tell Karen. Mike, oh god. Oh god,” he looks up, “Magnolia, oh my god,” he sobs, “She, what am I gonna do? She’s still breastfeeding. Nancy’s still feeding her. Oh my god, oh my god. Nancy, I can’t I can’t,” he’s shaking. 

“Steve, you’ve gotta breathe for me,” Hopper says quietly. 

“How is she gonna eat?!” Steve screams. 

Magnolia mirrors his scream and he looks up. She’s struggling to get out of the deputy’s arms and Steve reaches up. Both Hopper and the Deputy hesitate. 

“Give me my daughter!” he shouts. 

She leans down to hand Magnolia to him and he wraps his arm around her sobbing. She smells like Nancy’s perfume that’s soaked into her clothes, and his kisses her forehead. Her cold hands touch his cheeks and he sobs. She’s stopped crying, nuzzling into him and he sobs even harder. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, but then suddenly his tears dry. He suddenly has a burst of energy. He stands up, cradeling Magnolia, bouncing her on his hip. 

“Okay, we’ve gotta go.” 

Hopper stands as well, 

“Steve, we don’t have to.” 

Steve nods, and heads to the living room. He picks up Magnolia’s diaper bag, and shoves a few scattered toys in it. He shoves an extra blanket in there. 

“Steve, Steve, slow down.” 

He shakes his head, 

“I can’t. I can’t. I’ve gotta see her before I tell Karen. And I’ve gotta tell her in person. We’ve gotta go. Um, shit. Shit.” 

“Sorry baby,” he kisses her forehead, “Shit, I mean, I’m not supposed to swear. Nancy’ll kill me. Oh dear, um, it’s cold out right? I’ve gotta change her.” 

“Steve,” Hopper starts again. 

The deputy touches his arm, 

“Steve, my name is Ashley, what can I do to help?” 

Steve nods, 

“Nice to meet you. Um, she has some medicine in the kitchen. And some milk. Um, shit. We’re gonna run out. What should I do?” 

“She’ll take to the formula better if it’s mixed with the breast milk. There will be some formula at the hospital we can start her on. What else?” 

“There’s some puffs for her in the cabinet. Shit, um, I think that’s it. Make sure there’s enough diapers in the diaper bag. Um, I’ve gotta get her dressed,” he says, starting up the stairs. 

She nods, and he hears Hopper behind him. He heads into Magnolia’s room and changes her diaper. He doesn’t know if it’s messy, he just does it. She’s staring at him with Nancy’s bright blue eyes. He puts her in a thick sweater and some fuzzy pants, socks and some shoes. He zips a coat on her and a hat, 

“My beautiful girl, come on bug,” he picks her up and sees Hopper standing there, “What?” 

“Steve, son, you’ll need a coat.” 

He hesitates, he can’t go in his room. 

“I’ve got it. I’ll meet you downstairs.” 

He cradles Magnolia tightly, and slowly descends down the stairs. He’s wearing slippers and they’re not going to convince him to put on anything different. Simone is there, with the diaper bag and Magnolia’s carseat. She’s holding out a piece of toast, 

“Eat. I’ll get her strapped in.” 

He stares at the toast, immediately ill. Hopper had told him his wife was dead and he had taken a bite of a fucking Quaker chocolate chip dips granola bar. 

“I can’t.” 

“Steve,” 

“No.” he snaps, with finality. 

She nods, setting it on the end table, next to a bottle of water, she reaches for Magnolia slowly, 

“At least take a drink of water for me.” 

He lets her go and she leans to buckle her in. By the time Steve has taken his sip of water, she’s already buckled. 

“You have kids?” he asks. 

She nods, hefting the carseat up, 

“Yes. Twin boys, Anthony and Andrew.” 

“How old.” 

“Three,” she says as Hopper returns with his coat. 

Steve puts it on slowly and they head out the door. Magnolia is silent the entire ride as if she knows something’s wrong, and Steve just cries quietly. They take him into the basement of the hospital, and Ashley waits with Magnolia in the hall. 

“Steve, you don’t have to,” 

“I do.” 

So they step into the room. It’s cold. And dark. There’s a body, covered with a white sheet, on a metal slab. Hopper walks up and slowly peels the sheet down. Steve sobs. There’s Nancy. Her hair matted and sticky with blood, face pale in some spots, blue in others. Her jaw is clenched. She’s wearing one of his old Hawkins High sweaters thats covered in blood. In fact, she’s still wearing his wedding band. Her fingers are stiff, nails bitten to the nub. She does that when she’s stressed. She’d probably done it on the way to the store. Because he stressed her out. 

“She’s, they’re gonna make her look nice right? She would kill me if I let anyone see her like this,” he finally gets out. 

“They’ll make her look beautiful.” 

Steve nods, stares. His wife. She’s gone. She’s really gone. He sobs. 

“Steve, we want to do an autopsy. Her wound shouldn’t have been fatal. She bled out abnormally quickly.” 

He looks up, 

“What? Like some sort of, foul play?” 

Hopper shakes his head, 

“More like an undiagnosed medical condition.” 

Steve nods, 

“Okay.” 

Hopper moves to cover her back up, 

“I’ll send a car for Karen.” 

“No, I need to tell her.” 

Hopper hesitates, 

“Okay, we can both go. There’s one more thing,” 

Steve sighs, 

“What else?” 

“She died a hero Steve. She sheilded this young girl with her body. The girl is six. She’s the only one who survived. She’s right upstairs, only a few scratches on her. Would you, would you like to see her?” 

Steve looks at him, brown eyes narrowed, 

“See the reason my wife is dead? Are you fucking crazy? Let’s get out of here.” He storms out of the room, slamming the door.   
Ashley is sitting on a bench, bouncing Magnolia on her lap. Steve reaches for her, 

“We’re going to tell Nancy’s mom.” 

Ashley hesitates, 

“Maybe Magnolia should stay here.” 

Steve hesitates, but eventually nods, and then they head upstairs to the main floor and Hopper leaves to get the car. Steve sits slowly next to Ashley. He puts his head in his hands. 

“I haven’t kissed my wife in three days,” says Steve suddenly. 

“Huh?” Asks Deputy Brown. 

“Three days. Yeah. Um, we were, it was the afternoon because Dr.Phil was on. And.. she was, yeah she was sitting on the coffee table because the couch was hurting her back. I said that was counter intuitive and she said I wasn’t as smart as I thought. I, I don’t know why I kneeled in front of her, probably to put my head on her lap, she’s so soft, and she kissed me. And it was quiet and she ran her hands through my hair and scratched my scalp like I like, and, um, slid her tongue in my mouth. And when she broke away, I kinda pulled back, and I said, you have morning breath. And she laughed and laughed and just pulled me to kiss her harder, and asked me if I loved her enough to kiss her anyway, to which of course the answer was yes, I love her enough even without mouthwash and she laughed again, and said, I love you more. 

“She was always saying that, you know? I love you more. And we just kissed and kissed until Magnolia woke up crying, and then Nancy fed her and we kissed some more. Until her stomach started growling, and I went to heat up some food, and she went to brush her teeth,” he swallows hard, “that was the last time we kissed.” 

He tugs at his hair, body shaking, 

 

“Who the fuck doesn’t kiss their wife for three days?”

 

He sits there for a few more minutes, until Hopper comes back out. They head out to the police car. Hopper turns on the sirens, and they’re at the Wheeler’s in ten minutes. 

Hopper decidedly keeps his mouth shut on the way to the Wheelers house. Steve kinda wishes Ashley was with him instead, but he knows she’ll be better with Magnolia. The bright clock on the cruiser reads it’s almost six am and Steve is trying to figure out how less than four hours ago, his wife was alive. 

There’s a couple lights on in the Wheelers and Hopper parks in the driveway. Steve wastes no time, swinging himself out of the car. He has to do this now, while he’s not crying. He makes it to the door and feels Hopper behind him. He puts a hand on Steve’s arm and Steve looks back. Hopper’s eyes are red too, and Steve forgets for a moment he’d been around all their lives. 

He knocks on the door and it’s awhile before Karen comes to the door. She’s got her hair up in a clip, her readers on, dressed in a silk robe, slippers on, holding a mug of coffee, 

“Steve, honey, what on earth?” 

She looks up and sees Hopper and pulls her robe tighter, 

“Oh god is this about the car? I told you guys to stop-“ 

Steve steps forward, grabbing her arm, 

“Mom,” he says softly. 

Her brown eyes snap up, 

“Tell me. Tell me right now.” 

Steve hesitates and then there’s sharp acrylics digging into his arm. 

“Nancy’s dead,” he chokes out. 

She stares at him, then looks at Hopper, 

“No, no, what?”

“She was shot,” 

Karen collapses to the floor, ceramic coffee mug cracking. Steve kneels right in the broken pieces to help cushion her fall and she’s screaming and wailing. Ted’s running down the stairs then, and he takes in the scene. He looks at Hopper who nods and to Steve’s shock, he helps pull Karen up and to the couch. 

“Where are the kids?” Steve asks, as Karen curls against Ted’s chest, the two of them crying. 

“Upstairs,” she tries to push herself up, “I should-“ 

Steve shakes his head,

“Mom, I’ve got it.” 

He starts up the stairs, and Holly is standing outside her room. Her blonde hair is in pigtails and she’s wearing a long night shirt, 

“What’s going on?” 

Steve reaches out to grab her, 

“Holly, your sister died tonight.” 

She stares at him, blue eyes wide, 

“What? I don’t-“ but she’s already crying. 

She falls into his chest sobbing and he picks her up, tucking her into his chest like she’s not almost fourteen. When he looks up, Mike is in his doorway, tears streaming down his face. 

“I’m so sorry,” Steve chokes out, “She,” he sobs, and Mike comes over to hug him. 

Holly’s screaming between them, and eventually they get downstairs. It’s a mess of sobs, and Mike runs over to cry into Karen, 

“Where’s Magnolia?” She asks.

“At the hospital with the deputy. Um, they’re doing an autopsy.” 

Karen nods, 

“I want to see her.”

Steve shakes his head immediately, rubbing Holly’s back, 

“Mom.”

“Not up for discussion. Let’s go.” She stands up. 

“Change first?” Steve suggests, “We can’t have you running around town like that,” he says lightly. 

She looks at him and laughs, even though she’s crying. She pinches his cheek, 

“You are so right.” 

She heads upstairs and Ted stands up. Steve watches him warily, but he walks over and squeezes Steve’s shoulder, 

“I’m gonna go warm the car.” 

“Holly,” Steve whispers in her ear, “We’re probably gonna be there a long time. Do you wanna bring anything? Your phone, a book?” 

She pulls back to glare at him, 

“A fucking book?” 

“Well shit! I don’t know! You probably don’t wanna sit around and think about how Nancy is fucking-“ he cuts himself off with a sob and tightens his arms around Holly. 

“I’ll grab us some stuff,” Mike says standing up. 

“Mike-“ 

He shakes his head, 

“I’m, gonna call El if that’s okay.” 

“Yes, yes. Oh god, who should I tell?”

“You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want,” says Hopper. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll wait.” 

Eventually Mike comes down with a duffle bag over his shoulder. Karen’s wearing a Victoria’s Secret sweatsuit which makes him smile at her. She’s crying quietly. Hopper holds out a travel mug of coffee that Steve hadn’t even noticed he’d made. 

“Got some burbon for this?” She asks. 

“Shit, you want some?”hopper asks. 

She turns to Steve, 

“Is she bad?” 

Steve nods. And Karen nods at Hopper, who heads back to the kitchen. 

“Maggie’s at the hospital,” Steve tells holly, walking her out to the car, “she’ll be happy to see her aunt.” 

Holly squeezes him tightly, 

“Holly honey, get in the car,” she shakes her head and he sighs, before sliding into the car, her still on his lap. 

The ride to the hospital is silent, and they get let out at the door, while Ted parks. Simone greets them in the basement, and Magnolia holds out her arms to Karen. Karen picks her up and gives her a quick kiss. 

“Where’s my daughter?” 

Steve sets Holly down, 

“You’re not gonna see,” he tells her. 

She looks up, blue eyes defiant and he grabs her arm perhaps a little too tight, 

“No.” 

He takes Karen’s arm and leads her to the morgue. She cries out when she sees her, and Steve grabs her before he falls. 

“My baby,” she repeats, wailing. 

She makes it over to the table, and runs a hand through her hair, 

“My baby, my Nancy. Oh my god,” she says, pushing a lock of hair out of her face, “Steve,” she cries, looking up to him. 

He wraps his arms around her sobbing, 

“I know mom, I know,” he sobs. 

“But, what happened?” 

“Someone robbed the store. She was protecting a little girl.” 

Karen tries to scoff, but it gets caught in her throat, 

“Of course she was. Of fucking course she was. That’s who she was though.” 

Steve nods, 

“I know.” 

Karen turns to face him, 

“I’m ready to go.” 

He leads her out of the room, having no clue how he can walk straight. 

When they get out, she immediately goes to Holly and Magnolia and Steve sees Mike standing by the doorway to the morgue. 

“I’ve never seen a young dead person before,” Mike says. 

Steve nods, 

“I, it’s different.” 

“You expect your grandparents to die. Not your fucking,” he swallows hard, “not your sister.” 

“I know,” Steve says, throwing an arm around him. 

Mike sobs into his chest, 

“The last time I talked to her, I was just talking about myself. I, I thought I should propose to El, jesus, I was more worried about that than, I knew Magnolia had colic. I knew you guys were struggling and I,” he swallows, “Mom was busy, and she’d been over so much. Nancy asked me to come over for a few hours, just a few fucking hours so she could sleep and I didn’t, I didn’t,” he sobs. 

Steve holds him tightly, squeezes his thin shoulders, 

“Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t do that. It’s not your fault. It’s the guy who did it’s fault.” 

Mike scoffs, pulling away, 

“That’s easy for you to say.” 

Steve stares at him. He’s not a kid anymore. Hasn’t been for a long time. 

“Hopper told me she died and I took a bite of a granola bar.” 

Mike stares, 

“What?” 

“A granola bar. I just. Took a bite. When he told me my wife was dead.” 

It’s silent for a few moments and then Mike busts out laughing. Steve watches as he laughs until he cries, body shaking, 

“A granola bar?” He asks, his brown eyes still red but glinting. 

Steve can’t help but chuckle, 

“A granola bar.” 

“Was it at least good?” 

Steve laughs and wraps an arm around Mike, 

“It was fucking awful.” 

When they walk back to the bench, Karen is bouncing a screaming Magnolia, and Ted is comforting Holly, 

“I’m not ready to do this,” Mike says softly. 

Steve shakes his head and ducks down to kiss Mike’s forehead, 

“Me either.”

Steve knows he’s her husband. Knows they’ve been together almost eleven years, but, he figures Karen would take the reins on the funeral. She doesn’t. She gives input of course. But she figures that Steve knows Nancy better. He would argue he does, but he doesn’t fucking, know what casket she should get, or how many people they should plan for, or what flowers. 

He doesn’t want to pick a fucking program, he wants his wife back. He was never religious, and he didn’t think Nancy was either, until Karen spouts some hymns off the top of her head. Apparently Nancy had been Catholic up until her first communion. It’s overwhelming. Karen sitting next to her, perfume in his nose, asking what he wants to serve for a luncheon. He can’t even think about a luncheon, can’t think about the idea of food, but apparently this is what people do after funerals. Steve wouldn’t know. He’s never been to one. And his first one will be his wife’s. 

It's in a blue Tacoma, California  
White magnolia in your hair  
Rays of gold are shining on ya  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
It's never running out of golden road  
Always having your hand to hold  
In a blue Tacoma, California  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
It's right here  
Blue tacoma, California  
Oooh, if heaven is anywhere  
Rays of gold are shining on ya

 

The funeral is overwhelming. Things are moving slowly. Steve doesn’t even know who he’s talking to , until a little girl comes up to him. She’s black, with a short curly afro, wearing a black dress. He doesn’t recognize her. She must be one of Nancy’s patients. 

“Hi Mr.Steve.” 

He looks down, 

“Um, hi.”

“My name is Amelia.” 

He crouches down, 

“Um, hi Amelia. Have, um, have we met before?” 

She shakes her head, 

“No, but I knew Miss Nancy.” 

“Oh?” 

She nods, 

“I met her at the grocery store.” 

Steve freezes, 

“You’re the-” 

He can’t breathe, his mind is whirling. This little girl, her whole life ahead of her. He can imagine. Magnolia. Her age. And how as much as he wishes Nancy were still here, he can’t imagine this little girl in her place. He sits down with a loud thud, on the damp grass. Amelia sits across from him. 

“Miss Nancy said a lot about you. She loves you very much. She said she was a mommy.” 

Steve nods, eyes welling with tears, 

“She is a mommy. Our daughter’s name is Magnolia.” 

“The ending sounds like my name! It ends with an A!” 

Steve nods, 

“What grade are you in?” 

She smiles wide, 

“First.” 

“Wow, you’re very smart,” he says thickly. 

“Thank you. Well, Mommy said I should give you this back,” she reaches into her little black purse and pulls out Nancy’s wedding ring.

Steve’s eyes widen and she holds it out to him, 

“She gave it to me because I was scared. She said it would keep me safe because it kept her safe for a long time.” 

Steve buries his head in his hands and lets the sobs shake him. He misses her. He misses her so much it hurts, and he knows it’ll never ever get better. He feels small hands trying to wrap around him, 

“It’s okay. She’s an angel now. It’s okay to cry.” 

It makes Steve cry even harder and finally she pulls away and Steve hears her mom call her name. She holds out Nancy’s two carat, teardrop, halo set ring. Steve closes her hand around it, 

“Keep it. It will keep you safe.” 

At this point, her mother has walked up. A tall black woman with soft features, in a plain black, knee length dress, 

“Hi Steve, my name is Marsha Wilson, I am so sorry for your loss.” 

He stands up and nods, wiping at his eyes, 

“Thank you.” 

“Did she give you back the ring?” 

He shakes his head, 

“She can keep it.” 

She shakes her head quickly, 

“Oh no, no, no, it’s too much, she can’t.” 

“Nancy would want her to have it.” 

She stares, 

“Okay, if you’re-” 

He nods and turns away, 

“I have to go.” 

“Bye Mr. Steve.” 

“Bye Amelia,” he wanders off. 

 

He’s pretty sure Karen has Magnolia. Or Mike, or even Ted. At this point, it doesn’t even matter. He storms off back towards to building to get some water. Or booze, a cigarette, he doesn’t even care anymore. He’s tired. He’s so tired. He’s only been in the bathroom about three minutes when Hopper comes in. He looks nice. Hair slicked back, wearing a maroon button down shirt. He’s got a plastic bag with a phone in his hand.   
“What is it now?” Steve asks. 

Hopper swallows, 

“I thought it would be easier to tell you after the funeral. Not to make it, harder on you Steve. With, greeting everyone.” 

Steve rolls his eyes, 

“What now Hopper? What could possibly be worse?” 

Hopper looks at the ground, 

“Nancy had, a rare blood disease. It caused her to bleed out faster than normal. She, she knew she was going to die. That she was bleeding out too fast.” 

Steve nods, 

“She was too smart for her own good. We figured that already though. Why, why are you looking at me like that?” 

Hopper moves to touch him but Steve moves back again, to the next sink, 

“Tell me, just,” 

Hopper presses his lip together in a grim line, 

“Nancy was nine weeks pregnant.” 

Steve vomits into the sink. Until there’s nothing left to come up. Hopper’s rubbing his back, and when he shoves him away, rather hard, he’s back with a glass of water. Steve rinses his mouth out and stares in the mirror. He needs to shave. His eyes are red and swollen and he’s crying. His hair is too long and unstyled. He tears off his suit jacket and yanks open the buttons at the neck of his shirt, he can’t breathe. Another baby. They made another baby. He slams his hands against the porcelain. Then it’s fists. He slams his fists into the sink until his knuckles bleed and gush red all over the white sink. Hopper is tugging him back then. 

Steve cries into his shoulder and Hopper holds him tight,   
“It’s okay son, it’s okay.” 

“It’s never going to be okay again.” 

Hopper holds him awhile longer, 

“She left you a message,” he holds out the phone in the bag and squeezes Steve’s arm one last time, and Steve grabs it. 

He settles himself against the cool tile wall, his shirt and hands are stained with blood. He fumbles with the phone and gets it out of the bag. Her wallpaper is a picture of Magnolia and he quickly presses the button to open the phone. There’s a voice recording saved, and he presses the speaker button, leaning his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. 

“Hey Steve, baby. There’s there’s a shooting at the store. I got shot and, something, something’s not right. I’m bleeding out fast but, I needed to- I, I love you more Steve Harrington, do you hear me? I know you’re gonna be scared, but you can do this. You’re the greatest man I’ve ever known and Maggie is so lucky to have you as a dad. You, my baby girl, you tell her I loved her, do you hear me? Every single day. She was my favorite person in the world, and she’s going to be the smartest, most beautiful woman in the world. Goddammit Steve, I don’t wanna die. You, you were the best part of my life. Take care of yourself, take, take care of my baby. I’m always with you, Steve, baby, I love you-” the recording cuts out. 

“More,” Steve murmurs through the tears. 

If heaven is anywhere


End file.
